Sunday, June 28, 2009

Freedom from fear.

I believe that everyone, young and old alike, experiences anxieties and fears at one time or another. Of course, feeling anxious in a particularly uncomfortable situation never feels very good. Why, I’m well aware that at the back of my mind, thumping quietly like a drumbeat, are the twin horrors of Guilt and Panic.

Guilt Guilt Guilt Guilt.

Panic Panic Panic Panic.

But I don't want them to over come me and take over. So the trick I’ve learned is simply not to listen. My mind is very well trained like that. But then I realize that this is not the best solution.

I don’t mean fears like the fear of height or spiders or public speaking … although we should face these fears too … I’m talking about fears that I know I should face but just push back anyway, not wanting to deal with them.

I’ve had those horrors of guilt and panic at the back of my mind, many times. I’ve done it with bills — I let the bills pile up, trying to ignore them, not wanting to face them.

I’ve done it with my health, knowing I have cholesterol problem yet, not wanting to think about the things I was eating. I’ve done it with projects that I knew I should be working on, but didn’t want to think about them … because I was afraid, for some reason, to face them. I've done it with bad relationship for fear of hurting people I care about... and many more.

My main fear at the moment is losing my father. Life is so rushed these days I find it harder to make the time for family. One of the things I want to get sorted sooner rather than later is my work/life balance. Then I can get to spend more time with family, my father included.

I guess another word for this fear is worry… it’s a hard habit to kick. Fears have power over me not because they’re so horrible — even if some of them might be kinda bad — but because I allow them to hide in the darkness and intimidate me.

I’m sure you’ve heard it said that there is never a reason to worry. If a problem has a solution, we should start working on the solution (no need to worry.) If there is no solution, we should start working on acceptance (worry won’t help at all.)

We all have fears. There is none among us so brave so as to be fear-free. All throughout our lives, we have to conquer all sorts of fear. There is none among us who is fearless. The fact is that we just fear less as we conquer our fears.

How about you? Do you have fears lurking in the deepest, darkest corners of your mind? Fears you don’t want to face and try to push back?

Then shine some light on those fears.

It’s good to learn to recognize these fears, to become aware of them. They really have power over us when we allow them to fester in the dark, when we do our best not to think about them.

And when you’ve done that, you’ll feel light, relieved, happy.


Tracey said...

You know what they say, Theres no point worrying over something that you can't do anything about. That doesn't stop us though. I worry constantly about Paul & Amy, as you know, I know that I can't change anything to stop me worrying about them though. That's life.....



I believe in facing the fear and doing it anyway. However I also know when to give up and just let it go when things appear futile. I'm not scared of being alone, however many women are and stay in bad situations. For me I embrace being alone over living in a fearful relationship.
Most people fear death yet for me I have been so close to death so many times, that in a way death would be a relief from all the pain...

My biggest fears I will keep close to my chest as other people can use it against you.


Cal said...

Very thought provoking post. The fear of fear can be the worse and then it's a vicious circle. We all have hidden fears we struggle with. I try and trust the Lord each day but sometimes my own fallibility lets me down. Especially concerning the children. And then I just try and push thoughts out of my mind. My dear departed mother always said 'turn your thoughts outwards' and that's how I try to live, but fears can be insidious and creep up from behind when you're not aware and especially when you're vulnerable; night time, illness, stress, tiredness etc. That's when I tell myself loudest not to fear. Fear is often a manifestation of our physical weaknesses. We are human and as Tracey says. That's life!

living_with_ba said...

I only have one fear I cannot face, and that is the fear that when I'm off this earth that I will be forgotten...that's it for me, the rest I face and deal with.

living_with_ba said...

I only have one fear I cannot face, and that is the fear that when I'm off this earth that I will be forgotten...that's it for me, the rest I face and deal with.

Sid Brechin said...

I suffer from a fear related illness. I have agoraphobia with panic disorder. It is really a misnomer as literally it means fear of the marketplace. I reality you have panic attacks and begin to avoid where you have had the attacks. Mine is possibly a form of PTSD.

I won't go into it right now. However I thought it might be interesting to learn of the origin of the word Panic and how it differs from fear. Basically panic is groundless fear of great intensity. In Greek mythology Pan the half man half goat god was the god of the forest. He was the gentlest of all the gods but horrible in appearance. If someone was found dead in the woods from probably a heart attack and had a look of great fear on his face. Probably a result of the pain at the moment of death it was assumed he had seen Pan been scared to death. Thus the word panic. A fear so strong it kills

Mimi said...

Fear can be paralyzing. I've been there and now that I'm older and onto a little more of what makes me who I am, I try and push myself to get over fears and think about what caused the fear and try to move on. It's tough, very tough, to be honest wih myself sometimes.

Sid Brechin said...

Mimi: For years I honestly don't think I had any real idea of what fear was. I don't know if it was all the training or something wrong with me that let me act when others were running the other way. Sometimes I think that may be why I got sick. However I know from experience that facing what scares you face on is more often the right answer then anything else. Running from a problem won't stop it running to it and doing whatever you can is often enough to make some difference.
Fear of that we can't face or understand for whatever reason. An illness with no visible sympton for example is I think the hardest kind of fear to deal with. With the possible example of fear on behalf of another.

Odette said...

I guess having something to fear/worry make us more cautious with our dealings everday. but in sid's case, it's the fear of having panic attack and it can manifest without warning. his heartbeat would just go nuts to the point that it can be fatal, so it's important none should trigger this attack.
thank you all for sharing your fears...

Mimi said...

Sid, I agree that having an illness with no visible smptoms would be ver scary. Panic attacks are really terrible,and I know can put a lot of stress on your health. My sister has panic attacks when she tries to drive on a freeway or highway is constantly worried about it, and has to be driven by others. Her dr. says it's a chemical imbalance, but so far nothing has helped her.


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