Thursday, March 12, 2009

Let's save our youth.

There is another teenage boy in the headline today. The German teenager had a shooting spree in his old school, killing 15 people which ended with him killing himself. The paper says he was sporty and popular as a child. Also there was no suicide note, no video, no confession which could provide any insight into why the boy would want to commit such a bloody act.

I don’t know what is happening to our youth today. When I was growing up, 12 and 14 were still considered babies. Now, 12 and 14 year old kids are stealing cars, shooting people, doing drugs…you name it and they are doing it.

Where are the parents? I know that parents can’t watch their children 24 hours a day, but someone must be responsible for this bad behavior. I know it may sound cliché, but I really don’t know what this world is coming to. Have we parent neglected to give our kids credit for what they have and might possibly achieve?

Is it television and computer being both a blessing and a curse?. Yes they are an excellent tool for education, but it also empties their minds, leaving them ready to be programmed with whatever spews out of the box.

Unfortunately, in most cases, that is violence, sex, and more violence. Combine this with the mind altering medications many kids are on these days, then you think of things like the Columbine Massacre, the DeKalb, Illinois shootings and the Virginia Tech massacre and now this Minnended rampage, and you have to wonder where we think we are headed with the youth of today.

But as a mother of teens, even when I harbor uncertainties and doubts about my kid’s ability to face the challenges of tomorrow, I know that they will be able to deal with it. I strongly believe that the more exposure they get to the harshness of the world, the more they begin to think about the right way to get things done for a better world. If we, during our time have figured it out, then so will our kids.

Sure, we may have pampered our kids as teenagers, but they will be getting a quick lesson in the hard side of economics and how the world really is a small place after all.

Of course, they will get kicked in the teeth just like everyone else. But they will pull themselves up by their boot straps and say: "Not this time, world. You can't beat me that easy". They will do what every generation of teenagers have done before them, simply because, thats the way life works. When they are ready, when the world is ready for them, they will be everything they need to be and more. I truly believe the Y generation will do great things, we just have to give them the chance.

And just like 2, 3, 4, or 5 decades ago, there will be ones who will make it and others who will be able to get by and still others who will be supported by the ones getting by and the ones who made it.

So parents, let's make sure that our kids have the right tools necessary to steer themselves in the right direction.


Tracey said...

I thank God my kids are fantastic! I am so proud of them both, Amy for her life long battles, William for his positive nature and his career achievements, both kids have been great, Amy rebelled once or twice! with the tattoos and piercings, but I'll forgive her! LOL.
Love Tracey x x x

Tracey said...

P.S! I can't stop pressing that bloody RED button!

blue_butterfly said...

I guess while they were growing up, they didn't have the peer pressure which most kids are subjected to now. it does help a lot when we know who our kids are friends with and what their activities are.

oh, you just keep on pressing, coz eventually you will get the hidden treasure embeded in it. Lol!

Tracey said...

You know what I am thankful for? The fact that we live out in the country! No city life to tempt them, Oh I know drugs and drinking goes on even in the small villages, but luckily they mixed with other good kids.
Tracey x x x

blue_butterfly said...

iam thnakful too that my kids are active in church activities. all three are members of their church youth ministry. i say "their" coz we are a family of multi sectoral religion, hahaha.
we were catholics, but when two of my boys decided to transfer to another religion, i didn't protest as i deemed it is better they go to the church were they can grow spiritually.
we still believe in one god, so its ok.
oh we maybe city dwellers but our ways are still very conservative.

Amy said...

Mum, at least i didn't rebel like some of the teens do now! It winds me up when i see a group of them not moving out of the way for the elderly or making fun of them etc...i could go for them sometimes!

Another great post odette xxx

Angry American said...

What a lot of kids these days need is a good, old fasioned "ass whooping". Plain and simple! But, too many parents are too whimpy to enforce their rules and their kids turn into brats and monsters before they're teenagers. There's too many parents turning their kids into woosies as well.

I've seen too damn many kids like that, and it wasn't this bad when I was growing up. Why? Because, back in the day, our parents really meant what they said when they corrected us and put their foot down. Sometimes, on our heads (not litteraly). That's all changed now and look where it's gotten us.

Another problem is, too many parents let their doctors convince them to pump their kids full of drugs. I was suffering from most of my mental problems sine the age of 4 or 5. WITHOUT pills. Or drinking. Or drugs.

I really don't know how the hell I survied all the crazy garbage in my head in grade school, or the suicidal thoughts in high school, but I did. And, I graduated with my highest grades ever.

What a lot of these kids need is NOT pill popping. They need somebody trained in psychotherapy whom they can talk to. In some cases, even a teacher or coach can make a big difference. It worked for a lot of kids when I was in school. I wish I had a mentor back then too but, I had to go through the school of hard knocks instead.

Because of the conditions of the world today, kids have it 10 times worse now than my generation did. Things were simpler then, just like it was with my parents. With all the things my parents went through, I don't think they could've imagined America, or the world in such chaos.

Another thing these kids need is to learn people skills, and how to adjust. Not how many pills to pop, how many times a day. I'm not just talking about at home, at the present time. But, everywhere these kids will go in the future to play, shop, study and work, as well.

Having fun as a kid and teen is one thing. Becoming an out of control animal by the age of 12 is another. That goes for the pampered kids in the suburbs as well as the low income kids in the ghetto.

The world is just going to get uglier and more complicated. Technology has created a lot of this unholy mess, and it's not going to get any easier. Today's geration is facing things my generation couldn't have imagined either. The next few generations will do the same. If we haven't destroyed ourselves by then.

There's no pill for that. But, with or without meds, learning to take things one day at a time and survive is all any of us can do.


Great post! and comments. I agree with you all.
No boundaries , no real discipline, yet its a catch 22 situation.
I remember when my kids were young and you take them to the supermarket.
If one of them misbehaved you tried all the tools they are teaching now (super nanny stuff)and they would still play it up. People would look at you with scorn if you decided to ignore the behaviour or didn't control it fast enough.
Then they would look at other parents with scorn if they were harder on their kids. No win situation either way!
Its scary to be a parent today, all eyes on your abilities.
Also many people aren't there for their kids with either HAVING to work for financial issues, or they had kids cause their time is running out, they need that little accessory to pass on the family name, but they believe their job is a better option than parenting.
So they dump them in childcare from 4 weeks old and they stay in a institutional situation until they graduate. Where is the family in that last situation?
Many of these kids who seem to go to schools and blow people away are from middle class families, I wonder why that is?
P.S I'm to scared to push that button what does it do!! lol
Love Kirst xoxo

The Acolyte Tao said...

Well, considering I'm 17, 18 in about a week and still in Highschool. Here's 1 tip, put your kids into Advanced Placement classes in school rather than regular classes.
Its a totally different environment and honestly, when I am in a regulars class with the idiots, druggies, 'gangstas' and straight out low-lifes who only lives for violence, drugs, and sex I honestly wouldn't mind killing them, only problem is society sees it as wrong. =P

But with Honors or advance placement, whole situation is different, in those classes you have hardworking, intelligence, nice good kids with a quality sense of humor and no bullshit. I think that makes a huge difference honestly.

But yes, honestly, teens today are going through a whole new sort of messes generations before did not go through and as a whole, we are failing epically. I thought the baby boomer generation was bad for the world, but heh, bad doesn't even begin to breach the surface with mine. We are the druggie, sex-addict, crime committing fat asses of the world.

blue_butterfly said...

Angry American,
you are right. today’s children are a confuse lot and they struggle to understand the stream of frigtening events and images the media exposes them to, day in and day out.
therefore, it is equally important that parents or mentor should be able to teach these kids how to be resilient, aid children through their pain and confusion and guide them to become a flexible and compassionate adulthood.

blue_butterfly said...

i also wonder why those kids involved in the shooting are from middle class family, with a pretty good childhood.
it is so difficult to understand the influence society has on our kids. thats why we need to have an open communication with them so as to keep negative surprises to a minimum.

hey, don't fear the red button, go on, press it. you will be plesantly surprise, hahaha.

blue_butterfly said...

Acolyte Tao,
so, your a teener? congratulations, you have survive the jungle!
i am sure your parent also gave you roots and wings, but then you are responsible for your actions. anything you do in life will have an end result. you will either reap the rewards, or suffer the consequences of that action you take.
I am happy you choose your actions wisely.

The Acolyte Tao said...

But to your comment two above me, you asked why its usually middle class family kids, and who are usually white.
Well, that's simple really, middle class white guys usually get the most crap from people believe it or not.
You see, black people have a problem of black on white racism and blacks blame the average middle class white for their problems and deal with racism daily. They also receive this from Mexicans too. Not to mention, the middle class and poor people don't seem to hang out and the poorer class people tend to be the 'gangstas' and what not, and the middle class kids get sick of their actions of being so low class, yet at the same time with richer people, they cannot stand their snobbishness and obsession w/ their valuables and ego.
So you see, you would normally think they are in the middle of all people and get along with everything, but is exactly the opposite in reality, society just depicts it as differently for some reason.

The Acolyte Tao said...

Hm, sorry to kind of 'spam' like this, but to Angry Americans comment, I've never done any drugs or have ever drank alcohol or ever committed a crime. And I have never been spanked or had an 'ass-whooping' or even been 'grounded.'

blue_butterfly said...

Acolyte Tao,
i guess we are lucky in that regard that our society isn't compose of any distinguishable culture or race like what you have in america. the only prominent devide is between the rich and the poor. we don't even have an "in-between", as the working class is still considered poor as they are no where near what the rich in our society have.
add to that is the fact, that our youth isn't subjected to changing family unit like what you have. just imagine how introducing to a kid a family tree that looks like a forest! - old mom with new dad; old dad and his new wife with new little bro and sis; grandpa with new gradma which is formerly your aunt from your new dad side... even an adult would be confuse!

blue_butterfly said...

hahaha correction:

adult and not "adulthood"!

Angry American said...

Acolyte Tao,

Hey now...give credit where credit is due. I was one of the "slooooooow kids". One step above "short bus rider. So, all I ever had were level 1 or 2 classes with the biggest bunch of losers there were. Some of these kids could drink their parents under the table and regularly did drugs their parents had never wanted to experiment with.

When I was in junior and senior high school, the "classes" or status of kids broke down like this:

1) Cool kids - Most of them were jocks. A lot of them had brains but just didn't use them for much more than a sponge to soke up booze and beer. They also had higher income parents and/or worked. So, they threw the best parties.

2) The brainiacs - Most were clean but, some were also jocks so, they might've hung out and partied with the "cool kids".

3) Burnouts - These were usually long haired, hard rockin, retarded enough to get caught with pot in their locker, scum of the earth. Untill a new breed came along in the late 80s.

4) Wiggers (white niggers) - These came in 2 flavors.

a) - white trash that came from the ghetto after low income housing hit the suburbs.

b) - white suburban punks who thought rap and hip/hop was so cool, they made lame attempts at all the "yo yo yo...wazzzzaaaaaap homie" bullsh*t.

Last but not least:

5) Kids like me - Virgin geeks who could never understand what the big deal was with drugs and partying but, also couldn't get a date if our life depended on it. Most of my friends were the brainiac "nerds" but, I still couldn't figure out why I was never invited to the best parties (hence I was doomed to remain an unpopular virgin).

As far as my getting in trouble, I plead the 5th. But, one thing is certain, if you don't start keeping your kids in line, and keep an eye on their personal problems at an early age, you're going to have one hell of a problem child by the time they hit their teens. Boys and girls alike. In this day and age, that could spell big trouble for everybody around.

Tracey said...

My parents were the softest people on earth, BUT they only had to give THAT look, and we knew to behave. We had, and still have the greatest respect for them. Odette you sure know how to get comments!
Love Tracey x x x

Angry American said...

18 comments? :o

That's insane in the membrain, yo. 8)=

blue_butterfly said...

hahaha! not anymore, coz you just make it 19, and now with my reply, which i can't help,it's now officially 20. Lol...!


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