Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Although the incidence of suicide in the Philippines is not as high as those in developed countries, this country has had its share of high-profile cases. The latest is the case of Trina, wife of a popular television and radio broadcaster here.
It baffled me no end, because the family is well off, and the family was never involved in any controversy, even when previously Ted Failon, the broadcaster, had a short stint in the house of representative being elected congressman of his District .
Indeed, suicide is more complicated than most of us think it to be. And when I googled it, I was disturbed to know that most suicide is committed by teenagers!
People who end their lives or attempt suicide might be trying to escape feelings of rejection, hurt, or loss. Others might be angry, ashamed, or guilty about something. Still others may be worried about disappointing friends or family members. And some may feel unwanted, unloved, victimized, or like they're a burden to others. And at that particular moment dying seemed like the only way out.
What the heck, we all feel overwhelmed by difficult emotions or situations sometimes. But somehow we get through it or are able to put our problems in perspective and find a way to carry on with determination and hope!
So why does one person try suicide when another person in the same tough situation does not? What makes some people more resilient than others? What makes a person unable to see another way out of a bad situation besides ending his or her life?
I don’t have answers to these questions. Except that maybe some people focus more on failures and disappointments, or emphasize the negative side of their situation and downplay their capabilities or worth. They become so depressed that they see no possibility of a good outcome and believe they will never be happy or that things will never go right for them.
Surprisingly, those who have survived this act, had told relatives that they aren't completely sure they want to die, but that it’s just a way to express deep emotional pain. They can't say how they feel, so, for them, attempting suicide feels like the only way to get their message across.
This is especially sad as many people who really didn't mean to kill themselves end up dead or critically ill.
But one thing is certain, people are better able to deal with tough circumstances when they have at least one person who believes in them, one person who wants the best for them, someone whom they can confide.
So if you find someone who is depressed and talked about committing suicide, then don’t be afraid or feel uncomfortable talking to him or her. Try to overcome these feelings of discomfort — this is a time when someone absolutely needs to feel connected to others.
A simple act of listening may save a life.