Wednesday, July 8, 2009

When swearing is a necessity.


Life is a disappointment if you don't know any swear words.

Disappointments either large and small fill our lives. But of course, most of them we pretty much roll through without great problem. Like if the movie I am hoping to see has left the movie theater, well, I will wait until it is on DVD or on television. I do not consider it to be a crashing event in my life!

So I am referring instead to major life disappointments. And boy, are there many!!!

But too often I encounter disappointment because my expectations are too high. Example of which is when I expect things from life or from people that they simply cannot give me, or if I expect unrealistic outcomes or behaviors, then I almost deserve to be disappointed.

Almost.

Other times I also face disappointments in life is when I made one or more bad life choices. I think many of us fall into this trap - we make bad decisions in our choices around the people we relate to.

There is this nice Aesop fable of the crane who befriended a flock of crows. The crows went daily to eat the crop of a local farmer, and the crane went with them. One day the farmer was lying in wait; he threw nets over the flock of crows, capturing the crane along with them. The crane plead his case with the farmer saying, “I am not a crow, I was not eating your crops”. The farmer responded by saying, “you should have chosen your friends more wisely, you were with them, you will suffer their fate”, and he then dispatched the crane along with the crows.

See, if we hang out with the bad guys because it is fun or exciting, we will pay the consequences!!

But it is also true that disappointment often results not because our expectations were too high, or because we made bad choices, but because life or people fail us. People whom we love, and whom we have presumed love us, may do things that are thoughtless, selfish or hurtful. That is not our fault, and we have a right to feel that we have been failed by them and failed by life.

In terms of life, it is difficult to always know what is a rightful expectation and what is not. All too often, life is like the "Wheel Of Fortune". The wheel spins and one person wins one hundred thousand dollars, another person wins a Caribbean cruise, another wins a washer or a dryer, and then someone lands on “Lose A Turn”. There is a sense of randomness and luck to things.

I have learned through experience that there is something to learn from all our disappointment. It is through disappointment that we are strengthened. Therefore, it is up to us to find the good in every bad situation. Instead of asking "why me?" we should start asking "what can I learn from this?"

In every disappointment there is a lesson to be learned. However, it is up to us to look for the lesson.

Meanwhile, swear if you have to!!!

15 comments:

living_with_ba said...

I have faced many disappointments in my life - mostly due to lack of care and other such things...I learn from them and try to educate people, especially doctors about my conditon, but rarely do they listen.

Tracey said...

I think the only time I have said 'why me' is when we nearly lost Amy.
I have never prayed or swore so much in all my life.
Other than that, I reckon everything happens for a reason......and I keep swearing, but then I am uncouth! LOL
xxx

Sid Brechin said...

There is a flipside to this. I was on a course a cadet where we were the provinces rifle team. Swearing was absolutely forbidden. Later when an office it was very looked down on. As a result I and the others around me acquired impressive vocabularies. It is far more effective then worn out swear words too. Shakespeare was a master of this. I have a widget on my blog with Shakespeare's insults.

Mimi said...

I think that in my case I expect too much of people, and I am always the last to know-ha ha "clueless" because I tend to be trusting and have those high expectations. Case in point-the school system this past year...
I've had some pretty big shockers and have lived through some horrible events in the past, and I've learned that it's best to stand back and think about things for awhile before doing or saying anything.

Odette said...

Sid,
i don't swear too. in fact, swearing is not allowed at home. but its likely people turn to swearing when things didn't go the way they are expected to. it's better than throwing and breaking things, i guess.
how's the migraine?
xoxoxoxo

Sid Brechin said...

The meds have masked the migraine. I can still tell it is there but the pain is controlled for now. The nausea is still there but very slight. Thanks

As to not swearing I have often found when someone is being a vulgar pain swearing their head off a barrage of twenty dollar words spoken eloquently will usually not only shut them up but cause them to slither away in embearassment. It seems that is the one thing everyone is afraid of if they are at all lacking in self confidence.

NEO-CONDUIT said...

Firstly Sid, my empathies migraines are nasty!! I would prefer abdo pain over a migraine any day. I'm sending you my best wishes.
Swearing used to be a nono in society now its everywhere, on the T.V radio everywhere. I try not to swear and especially in a professional environment. Alas everyone is doing it, even Doctors, Lawyers Judges, they all do swear.

So it isnt a upper class phenomenon of perfection. I swear in frustration and because no other words can express that frustration...I bad..

Disappointments are life, I try o use disappointments as a lesson to be learned.
P.S Im sorry I smashed your illusion on Dr's lol a title doesn't exempt people from being people.:)I kept the juicy bits out of my post.
hugs and love
xoxoxoxoxoox

Tracey said...

Did you get the bday card yet? x

Odette said...

Tracey,
i haven't yet, although i wouldn't be surprise if it's aleardy at home when i return later today.
i even told kirst in twitter i am excited to get my hand on it, hahaha!
thanks,
xoxoxoxox

Odette said...

Kirst,
i guess any profession has its setback. come to think of it if you had married a mortician, a lawyer, a politician, or an entertainer(actor/singer/model).
it's just that grass is greener always on the other side, no? hahaha!

Boysie Gonzaga said...

The reason why the moth is always attracted to the light of the candle is because of facination in doing something exciting without knowing that the closer it gets, the more dangerous it's going to be. Not all things bright and beautiful is good. That's one lesson we should never forget.

Odette said...

boysie!!!
are you in the phil now? if not yet, then when are you coming home?
eat buriring dayon and also eat batchoy at the new Sagay Market. I did!!!
xoxoxo

Boysie Gonzaga said...

@Dette!
Still here in KSA. Basi sa end of this month pa take-off ko.

Mimi said...

Odette, Look at this~
http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/swearingmakespainmoretolerable
Somebody did a stud on the effect of uttering curse words when in pain.

Odette said...

Mimi,
thanks for the link! wow, i didn't know studies had been done on this, Lol.
its does ease the pain when we let out our frustarion or disgust over something. even letting out a guttural sound not necessarily expletive words, no? it's our defense mechanism, i guess to counter the pain.

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