Wednesday, July 8, 2009
When swearing is a necessity.
Life is a disappointment if you don't know any swear words.
Disappointments either large and small fill our lives. But of course, most of them we pretty much roll through without great problem. Like if the movie I am hoping to see has left the movie theater, well, I will wait until it is on DVD or on television. I do not consider it to be a crashing event in my life!
So I am referring instead to major life disappointments. And boy, are there many!!!
But too often I encounter disappointment because my expectations are too high. Example of which is when I expect things from life or from people that they simply cannot give me, or if I expect unrealistic outcomes or behaviors, then I almost deserve to be disappointed.
Other times I also face disappointments in life is when I made one or more bad life choices. I think many of us fall into this trap - we make bad decisions in our choices around the people we relate to.
There is this nice Aesop fable of the crane who befriended a flock of crows. The crows went daily to eat the crop of a local farmer, and the crane went with them. One day the farmer was lying in wait; he threw nets over the flock of crows, capturing the crane along with them. The crane plead his case with the farmer saying, “I am not a crow, I was not eating your crops”. The farmer responded by saying, “you should have chosen your friends more wisely, you were with them, you will suffer their fate”, and he then dispatched the crane along with the crows.
See, if we hang out with the bad guys because it is fun or exciting, we will pay the consequences!!
But it is also true that disappointment often results not because our expectations were too high, or because we made bad choices, but because life or people fail us. People whom we love, and whom we have presumed love us, may do things that are thoughtless, selfish or hurtful. That is not our fault, and we have a right to feel that we have been failed by them and failed by life.
In terms of life, it is difficult to always know what is a rightful expectation and what is not. All too often, life is like the "Wheel Of Fortune". The wheel spins and one person wins one hundred thousand dollars, another person wins a Caribbean cruise, another wins a washer or a dryer, and then someone lands on “Lose A Turn”. There is a sense of randomness and luck to things.
I have learned through experience that there is something to learn from all our disappointment. It is through disappointment that we are strengthened. Therefore, it is up to us to find the good in every bad situation. Instead of asking "why me?" we should start asking "what can I learn from this?"
In every disappointment there is a lesson to be learned. However, it is up to us to look for the lesson.
Meanwhile, swear if you have to!!!