Tuesday, July 7, 2009
A kind of lonely.
I've been thinking recently about a phenomenon that I suppose has always been a part of life but that I think manifests itself in different ways in our modern world. It varies according to the seasons of life we find ourselves in, but it seems to be fairly prevalent regardless of our circumstances.
I'm talking about loneliness.
I had a talk with a friend the other day, and it confirmed my fear when he told me he is lonely despite the over 70 million population in there country.
So what is loneliness? Is it a feeling? A condition? I guess for different people, it means different things.
Loneliness is a very powerful emotion. Whether we would like to agree with it or not, loneliness is a universal phenomenon, it visits every human soul at some time in every culture, every race, every class, every age. To feel lonely is to join the rest of humanity in acknowledging that we are somehow fundamentally separated from each other.
Being lonely also means we are not able to share our deepest thoughts with anyone. We may have issues at home, or at the office. We can have issues with our relatives and friends. Yes, we at some point can carry so much hurt and guilt inside us but we do not know, whom to talk to, therefore we feel lonely. We feel all alone.
Loneliness is horrible, that is why I think the Internet when used properly is a very good tool. This is also why I post on this site because it lessens my loneliness. It distracts me from knowing that when I look around I do not see any humans. Yeah sure, animals are great to have to help ease the thought of loneliness, but it is not like they can have a conversation with you!
I think everyone has had that square peg/round hole feeling at some point in their life.
Now that I'm in my late forties, and with my nest about to be empty, I spend a lot of time alone. I cherish it. I love solitude. But every now and then, I just get lonely. Electronic connections with old friends are interesting and entertaining, but they can't substitute for even half an hour of face time and a good hug.
My loneliness of late is a funny breed—more like a homesickness, a hunger, for a conversation I want to have, a man I want to see, a friend I desperately want to talk to, a quick burst of my sister’s laughter, a jolt of inspiration at work, a moment of common understanding with my neighbors.
It’s a sudden pang of “I wish.” It’s the desire of “I want.”
Yes, it’s that kind of lonely, my friends.