Last night I was at my neighbor's birthday party. Being the only single woman there I was showered with more attention than I can take. They say I should start dating again and they came up with several names, all of whom I am not familiar with.
Hey guys, I didn't ask to be in my 40s and single, but reality being what it is I live with it. I have my kids, I have my work, I can cook and clean, I have a plan for myself that is better done without a man messing it up. Nah, I don't hate men, I just know what is worth my time and what isn't.
Ok, ok, if I do date I think I would put up a rule. I think I ought to come up with what works for me, keeping the reality of my particular situation in mind.
So here it is...
1. I won't date fat men. If he is walking around looking like he has a beer keg stuffed in his pants, then he don't give a damn about himself, so I really don't expect him to give a damn about me in the long run. If he and I had fallen in love twenty years ago, gotten married and had a family and he had put on the weight, I would still be with him, but we didn't and so I see no need to accommodate his lack of discipline.
2. I don't like a man who would boast about his independence. Being able to take care of himself doesn't make him special, it makes him an adult. Second, if he is that independent, why is he looking for a relationship in the first place? Independence is the opposite of dependence and being able to depend on others is why we get into relationships of any kind in the first place.
3. I wont date a man who is a full time father to his kids.( Of course, I am not optimistic enough to be asked by someone young and was never married.) But I see no need to be a full time mother to someone else's children and a part time mother to my own. Mine have been through enough already, I'm both Mom and Dad to my kids and I feel I am doing what is best for my children, they were here first.
There you go. I know it's short, but that's all I can think of for now.
I have not been dating and maybe never will. But even 40 somethings get lonely at times, some more than others. Well, there are all sorts of reasons people over 40 are single.
Just keep breathing and you might find yourself there some day.
3 comments:
Being only one year older then you I feel you girl .. Most of the time being a single Mom is more then i can handle .. My luck I always get hurt at the end .. More dishes to wash , food to cook and clothes to wash .. Then it seem no matter what I do to please him it is never enough .. I said the day I become single again I will die single and I have been keeping my word ... I have enough bad relationship where I have to stay home while he gets to enjoy life .. I have had to put my health and career on hold while he is taken care of .. and yet has the gulls to tell me I am not being good enough .. I need to care for him more . What the hell men want from me my blood .. I don't drink nor go to clubs, don't have a socail life .. I like to be home with my girls and cook and clean .. plus my art and sewing .. I was just told that they found something in my brain but I can't sat and whine like he does .. I have to keep uo everything .. so yea girl enjoy life while you can because I am from now on HHAHAHA love you sis
You know,,,its a two way street. As a man I would know what you are saying to be a fact.
I also agree with Star,,in saying she doesnt do the bar thing etc, I dont either.
Consider this: I can and do have the same ideas as you when it comes to a life partner.
Its very hard to find the absolute person who shares in all your visions and is beyond your wildest dreams.
If I am ever in Manila I would love to take you for dinner and dancing. I don't know if that would qualify as a date or an evening out with a friend. In any case it is something I would like to see come to pass.
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