Sunday, November 9, 2008
Fancy a date?
Last night I was at my neighbor's birthday party. Being the only single woman there I was showered with more attention than I can take. They say I should start dating again and they came up with several names, all of whom I am not familiar with.
Hey guys, I didn't ask to be in my 40s and single, but reality being what it is I live with it. I have my kids, I have my work, I can cook and clean, I have a plan for myself that is better done without a man messing it up. Nah, I don't hate men, I just know what is worth my time and what isn't.
Ok, ok, if I do date I think I would put up a rule. I think I ought to come up with what works for me, keeping the reality of my particular situation in mind.
So here it is...
1. I won't date fat men. If he is walking around looking like he has a beer keg stuffed in his pants, then he don't give a damn about himself, so I really don't expect him to give a damn about me in the long run. If he and I had fallen in love twenty years ago, gotten married and had a family and he had put on the weight, I would still be with him, but we didn't and so I see no need to accommodate his lack of discipline.
2. I don't like a man who would boast about his independence. Being able to take care of himself doesn't make him special, it makes him an adult. Second, if he is that independent, why is he looking for a relationship in the first place? Independence is the opposite of dependence and being able to depend on others is why we get into relationships of any kind in the first place.
3. I wont date a man who is a full time father to his kids.( Of course, I am not optimistic enough to be asked by someone young and was never married.) But I see no need to be a full time mother to someone else's children and a part time mother to my own. Mine have been through enough already, I'm both Mom and Dad to my kids and I feel I am doing what is best for my children, they were here first.
There you go. I know it's short, but that's all I can think of for now.
I have not been dating and maybe never will. But even 40 somethings get lonely at times, some more than others. Well, there are all sorts of reasons people over 40 are single.
Just keep breathing and you might find yourself there some day.