I wish my kids can just play tetris...

I was sitting beside my teenage son last night while he played a video game and I was watching tv. Suddenly a flash report came about two very young gangs in a riot in one of the cities nearby. I was struck by the age of those who are getting into the action. The boys are just between 10 to 14 years old! It wasn’t just heckles coz they were throwing stones and some even brandished knives and home-made guns while chasing the other kids. The police said young boys knew they won’t be jailed because of their age that’s why they are bolder.

I looked at my boy and noticed that the game he is playing is kinda violent and I could not help but wonder if the violence in the world becomes ever so apparent because of all the violent video games out there.

Oh, I'm not saying everyone who plays a violent game is going to become violent, but some do I guess. I think some young kids who played it thought it might be cool to go out and try what they play in the games. Perhaps those kids I just saw on television who have nothing but time on their hands had let their imaginations run with the games and decide to bring their imaginations to life, leading to very serious consequences. The reporter who is covering the action said it just started from heckling that ended to a violent street riot.

Violence is all around us and it's a shame that they have to bring it into the home via video games. It's no wonder kids think that seeing blood and guts is cool -violence is all around them - in their communities, schools, television, movies and now their video games - it's getting to be a way of life for them, so they think there's nothing wrong with it.

I firmly believe violent video games are contributing to real violence in the world - just look at the number of crimes being committed by young offenders. Not because it's in a video game so it must be okay, right?

Who else thinks we're sending the wrong message to our children?

Wanna hold your hand.

Don't give up. Don't quit. Don't surrender.

These are three phrases I told myself almost every single day. The same three phrases I want to tell you. Why? Because life is tough! Like you, when things around me get really bad and I felt really depressed, I also thought of giving up as it seemed to be the better option – but in reality, it is simply the easier option.

Yes, I have been through tough times. I have also experienced having put all my effort into something, only to see it blow up in my face, and I felt like throwing in the towel so that I won’t feel as much pain. Blaming others, crying, shouting, complaining - these things are very easy to do at times when things are not going my way. That's why I am grateful that during these times I have friends like you I can depend on. Friends who, though far away, have made your presence felt.

I know that your life is more challenging than mine, or maybe not. But I will never know exactly what goes on behind your closed door because what you are going through is something I cannot even conceive of. But know that it hurts me not to be able to help you when you are depressed, and it is doubly difficult when you are so far away and I cannot be physically there to support you. My challenge now is to continue to let you know that I am here and that I understand what you are going through.

So, hold my hand... I will listen...

Just human nature...

I was watching " Inside Edition" last night and I was shocked that they were still talking about Tiger Woods.

Why is it every time a celebrity messed up we have to hear about it over and over and over again? Are Americans, as a society, that interested? Or do they have nothing else to do? I know the media has to make a few bucks and has to exploit every little detail of a scandal. The media of course dictates what is news and what is not.. even when it is not news. But we listen.. and listen and listen. Why?

And then, in the same show they have this poll predicting the break-up of Brad and Angelina. People can't seem to admit that this couple could actually be happily living together!

I know, we love to watch people fail. Darn, we could find a cure for cancer in the next few weeks and yet people will still be watching the happenings with Tiger and Bragelina. Why? Because it makes us feel better about ourselves. Yes, yes! C'mon stop shaking your head. Its not that our self esteem is that low, but it does give us a boost of " hey maybe my life isn't all that bad". It makes us feel more successful than the person involved in the scandal.

It is common knowledge that celebrities go by a different set of standards. Not standards necessarily imposed by the celebrities, but standards imposed by us - the non celebrities. We make false assumptions that celebrities has no or little faults, which makes it way more hard to resist when a celeb falls from grace. We are reinforced that no one is perfect .

And Celebrities to us everyday folks are rich. Well, most celebrities anyway. The ones who can buy islands are a little better off then those who don't. We love it when rich people fail. Why? Because we are jealous! Deep down we want to be wealthy too!

For whatever reason, it is our nature to be judgemental and to gossip. No doubt, the media will exploit everything they can for a buck.

A call for compassion.

An American had posted in Facebook his disgust over his country's 24/7 call for help and donations to Haiti. He complained that there are also homeless and hungry people in America that need immediate attention and he is so pissed by the urgency the government is doing to send aid to Haiti.

Well my take on the issue is this: no country is free of homelessness and poverty no matter what the condition of the country is but compared to Haiti, America is a lot better off. Americans have been proud of how great and powerful they are and I think this is their opportunity to show the world the kind of power they have by taking these very crucial steps in helping to aid these people that are in desperate need.

There are a mass number of people that lost everything and lost their own family because of this earthquake and if you watched CNN you would see the most disturbing images of bodies covering the ground of the city with no place to go. These people have nothing and no where to turn to, that if the the world wasn't there to save them, I could honestly say after this disaster there would be no Haiti.

We are a poor country but we tried our darndest best to help in our own little way. The world has helped us get back on our feet after the massive flood in Manila and now it's time to pay it forward and help the hundreds and thousands victim in Haiti.

We should not limit compassion within our own backyard...

Love actually is ...

Oh well, I never thought I would be writing this blog so soon, but commercials have made me crazy! OK I'm not a bitter and cynical woman...as I have loved and been loved. It is just that I am not gaga over celebrating Valentine's Day even though those who had loved me felt an obligation to, which is another problem of mine.

I don't like things being done because you think you should! And all these commercials insist you adore your significant other with gifts on this one special day, duh!

In my opinion if you truly love someone then you shouldn't adore them in one day. Why not adore them every day? Not with gifts, but with just the simple things of saying “I love you” or “you look pretty” or “your amazing” or “your so cute”. Even by just listening when you need them to and supporting us when needed.

In my opinion it's the small simple gestures that mean the most. But of course, our media forces the supposed gestures, and I am actually insulted with people doing things that they think they should, rather than what they want to do. It is awful that many men are burdened with the thoughts of what they should do.

Just so you know, I will be spending valentines at home. So for all those that has joy in the typical Valentine’s Day, that's fine. But for me, I don't agree with the forced feelings and things you think you should do. And I don't think we should have only one day to express our love as that should be expressed everyday.

Case close.

And the excitement continue...

I wasn't able to watch the AI audition last night because I was at a friend's birthday party. Your damn right Randy, even if I enjoyed the company of friends and the scrumptious dinner, I was still thinking about it. Ha, ha!

You see, I like watching the audition more than the contest proper because it is HILARIOUS. Didn't you noticed that every year, more and more contestants than can reasonably be counted line up to prove to America that they have talent? But the problem is, the majority of these contestants have less talent in singing as I have in sewing. The strongest difference is that I have come to terms with my horrific craft, while several of the contestants seem crushed when they are told they lack talent.

Why do I continue to watch this train derail from the tracks? Good question, Ray. Now, listen...

Imagine that I am with my best friend when suddenly an epic moment occurs. "Zombie" begins it's 100th rotation on FM radio for today's playlist. Then my friend begins to belt the tone from this song louder and more powerful then a Boeing 747 during takeoff. The dilemma: do I tell my friend I would rather listen to the 747 gearing to go to whatever destination? Of course I can't. I would rather let Simon Cowell do it.

Remember the example from the beginning with your imaginary friend? When you want to see this friend again and again? Well Simon only has to see this person for 5-10 minutes at most then tell this horrific singer indescribable things about his/her voice that I could never speak of.

Oh, I didn't want to say that being mean is funny, but what better way to project a day of stress than my television set? It is just quite a relief to see others fail at something and never have the repercussion of saying how bad someone is at something. This doesn't make me a bad person - it simply provides me an avenue of projection that is needed to cope with life. I know that after auditions, I couldn't care less about what good singer actually makes it further.

I think the popularity of the show is based on the message sent subconsciously to viewers like me: It takes courage to stand in front of a sarcastic individual and present your best.

American Idol is entertaining, amusing, surprising, sometimes annoying, but generally a good clean fun. Got it now, Ray?

Should I add one more?

I have three cats at home, the mother, Stray, and her two offsprings, Inee and Loki. Having more than one cat gave me the opportunity to observe feline society in all its quirky glory. And also, having more than one cat meant my feline friend will not suffer from loneliness.

I also liked to watch my cats play chase-and-pounce games or groom each other as they can be very entertaining. But of course I still get questions like - "why do you own so many cats?" Actually I never plan of owning this many as my house is small, but after the litter came what could I do, turn them away? I have given many of them as Stray gave birth to 6 set twice and each time I hate seeing some of them leave.

A cat to me is much like chocolate although of course, they don't taste as good. But you see, I just can't stop at one. They are addictive. Their little meows which greet me in the morning, the appreciative purr they give on my warm lap, and how they smooch up to me when they are hungry, the love they give... Ah bliss! See why I can't stop at one?

Now my Inee is pregnant and she will give birth soon to god knows how many. As always, I am excited to once again hear the pitter-patter of little paws. But my own kids are complaining. The cats are taking up their bed space and leaves fur all over. And when these litters starts to learn how to run my house will once again become a battle field. And even when in time it will settle down, this can also turn into a permanent state of being.

I know each and every cat is a blessing. This may sound weird, but I have arguments with my cats, and I have conversations with them. So even when I am excited with the prospect of being a grandmother anew to Inee's kittens, I also have to take into consideration my kids feeling on this.

Or should I just cross the bridge when I come to it?

A concept sorely needed.

Is chivalry going out of style? Or are men of today in general too absorbed with their own lives that they don’t care about opening doors or offering seat to elderly or even pregnant women in buses or other public transport. I see many of them too wrapped up in their cellphones and mp3 players to even notice an old lady standing beside them. Or maybe they do, but they just don’t care anymore.

I don't buy the idea that feminist movement caused the decline of chivalry. I blame it on rudeness and inconsideration. You see, when I am walking into a restaurant or a store and someone is walking behind me, I hold the door open for that person, whether it is a woman or a man. I don’t expect the men to do this alone, as we women can do this as well because chivalry, at least in my mind, is tied to manners and basic decency.

However, one thing I don't know about is the virtue or intelligence of laying down a man’s jacket in a puddle. I figure most ladies are smart and capable enough to just step around it. Besides, what’s the guy going to do if the lady gets cold as he walks her home, give her his wet jacket?

On the other hand, maybe today’s society is just afraid. I know I am. Because whenever someone smiles at me as I walk down the street I would looked at him with suspicion. Yes, because I have no idea if he is disarming me before he assaults me or pick my pocket. And if I have a flat tire and a man stops to give me a hand, how do I know if I am going to be safe? You see, to be able to trust our fellow man in today's climate is very difficult.

So, what do good manners come down to? Respect. Chivalry at its best is showing respect to all those around us whether or not they show it back. Opening a door is not a sexist issue unless you make it one. I do not believe that the guy who opens a door is more or less likely to go to 'hooters' than the one who lets it slam in our face. I do believe however that the first guy will consider our feelings about 'hooters' before the second.

And that is respect.

Waiting for disaster.

After hearing and watching the disaster in Haiti, I have resolved to wait my own disaster. It is not as if I am not doing this everyday, because in life we all wait for disaster to strike.

Yes, this may seem paranoid, but let me explain. You see, everyday people are faced with disaster. People are diagnosed with cancer and given only months to live. Sons go to war and never come back, or daughter meet an accident. There are people abandoned by the ones they love, and then there is nature's unstoppable wrath.

It is rare to meet a person who has not faced at least a small disaster. So, I will wait... I will wait for my disaster to come. For my father to fall ill. For someone to leave me and not come back. For a denial of my application. For the dormant fault line to start to quiver and shake. For a dream unfulfilled.

I will wait because if I don't, this disaster might caught me by surprise and if I am not prepared, I may fail to be strong and I may fall apart. Falling a part is not an option I can accept. So even when it may seem cynical and morbid to wait for disaster to strike. For me, it actually seem to be a rational thing to do as I am more likely to survive if I plan ahead of time and be prepared when the unthinkable happens.

Will you, too?

My ten.

Tracey had tagged me to write 10 free things that makes me happy. I know I don't have a gazillion money but somehow life has been good (although I admit that I wish I have gazillion $$$!).

Anyway, the reason that I can still laugh and smile in this life is because of these freebies and I know where to go when I get stuck with dreary feelings.

Here goes:
1. Family

2. Friends

3. My cat

4. Books

5. Music

6. Cool summer breeze

7. Birds song

8. Flowers

9. Free pc games

10. Cuddling under a blanket (soon, I hope)

A birthday poem for Sid.

I have not forgotten your birthday
I just want you to know
You have been stuck at fifty now
For six years in a row.
Your hair's a little thinner
And you have put on some girth
Just want to remind you of another year
Since the moment of your birth

Sure you could spend ten thousand dollars
For a few more years of zen
Or be a full-fledged member of
Some hair club just for men.
You could sign up for a spin class
And hoist around some weights
Know what? For some old fart
You do look really great!

So tell us what you want
Or what you expect this year?
Would a Corvette wrapped in ribbon
Bring you lots of cheer?
Or a cake with many candles
And a wallet or some shoes
Friends that come gather round
To dance and sing the blues?

Come lets blow out the candles
And dim down the light
Start another chapter
A future without fright.
So hold my hand and start the music
I want to learn that dance
A boogie and a tango
I can't pass up this chance.

Happy Birthday, Sid!
(January 14)

Desperately desperate.

I wish I am someplace else...

I can’t stand the sight anymore.

I am very much aware that alcohol has the ability to completely change someone's temperament and attitude. But I have to deal with it and hope against hope that he won’t behave badly while he is not in a sober state. I have seen this many times before and I already know that trying to reason with someone when he’s drunk is a completely hopeless and useless exercise. There is a very good chance that he won’t even remember the majority of the words I say while he is intoxicated.

As the sober person in this situation I have to make sure that me and the kids will be safe. So it is necessary we stay out of his way and agree with what he is saying even if it does not make sense, simply to defuse the chances of the situation becoming violent.

Of course, he has deep unresolved issues he had not dealt with, and being intoxicated lowers his inhibitions and frees him up to act out his pent up emotions.

So, he hid these emotions when he is sober - that’s why he drinks?

But drinking won’t solve anything!!!

Didn’t he realize that while he drinks to drown all his problems, people around him have learned how to swim away?

Ugh!

Say it again?

It’s 2010 and over the years, many popular catch phrases and slogans have come and gone. Of course, many of them have faded with the sunset while others have stuck around a little longer. But we all know the phrases that reach popularity are often the most annoying. This can be because of the overuse of them, or simply because they just don't make sense.

“You must be a redneck.”

I am not familiar with “rednecks” but I have grown familiar with this phrase from Ray who always got a laugh poking fun at people shopping at Wall Mart. I think this phrase generally, is followed by an example of something that could make someone a redneck. If you’re an American and have ever listened to these little phrases, you already know that anyone that breathes could be a redneck. Or you might be a redneck if you are tired of hearing this crap.

"So easy a caveman can do it."

This is something Sid could say a lot, knowing how adept he is with rocket science. But I think an insurance company uses this phrase and the caveman characters, to illustrate how simple getting insurance from clients could be. Okay, so the insurance is simple but the hard part is finding cavemen. There are none left so how do they know a caveman can do it? Also, how stupid are they calling our ancestors anyhow?

"It's easier said than done.""

We still hear this phrase a lot today. It is true that it’s easier to say something than to do it. At the same time, though, how do you know if you aren't doing it? Rather than talking about how easy something is, why not put forth some effort and find out?

"Were you born in a barn?"

This phrase would come from someone annoyed of your stupidity. The problem is, if you were born in a barn, you wouldn't understand what he is saying anyway. So, the next time someone asks that, answer with "Neigh" or "Moo". That will fix it.

"You can't have your cake and eat it too.”

What would you do with a cake if you can't eat it? We certainly can't take it out on a date or shop with it. A cake is meant to be eaten, not set on a counter and molded or stared at, which is kind of what this phrase makes us think.

“Hit me up.”

This phrase means that you should call or write someone. It just sounds so violent though. Why would you want someone to hit you up? Better yet, what would you do if someone took you for face value, balled up their fist, and hit you up-side your head? You probably wouldn't say that phrase twice.

Oh okey, this list can go on and on... but no matter where you go, there will be another silly saying that makes you prefer the sound of screeching nails on a chalkboard, rather than hearing those horrid words once again.

How about you? I would like to know what other annoying catchy phrase you could share.

I am a tiger.

According to the Chinese Zodiac, the Year of 2010 is the Year of the Tiger, which begins on February 14, 2010 and ends on February 2, 2011. The Tiger is the third sign in the cycle of Chinese Zodiac, which consists of 12 animal signs. It is a sign of courage. This fearless and fiery fighter is revered by the ancient Chinese as the sign that wards off the three main disasters of a household: fire, thieves and ghosts.

Tiger Personality

Tiger people are difficult to resist, for they are magnetic characters and their natural air of authority confers a certain prestige on them. They are tempestuous yet calm, warm-hearted yet fearsome, courageous in the face of danger yet yielding and soft in mysterious, unexpected places. They enjoy life full of challenges and unexpected events, like visiting unusual places and meet interesting outstanding people. Other people in their part are easily attracted by the tiger's enthusiasm and the course of life. Tiger person finds a pleasure in unpredictable, and while other people would rather make a backward step, he/she is not afraid to explore new and unusual. But it is not that simple to interest the tiger. What they really need is first-hand experience. Usually open and frank, these people are likely to withdraw and you can be aggressive when trapped. As soon as the tiger person has regained his/her sense of security his/her confidence also returns, enabling him/her to set out once more. These people usually tend to trust their instincts, though there is another side of their personality, which assesses situations thoughtfully before launch any actions. Their friends usually secretly admire their determination and optimism, though sometimes may find it complicated to share the tiger's enthusiasm and can be pushed away and left behind. In spite of the fact that tiger people can be courageous and generous friends, if they are not able to achieve what they want, they can be inflexible and self-centered. So if your friend was born in the year of the tiger, there will be highs and lows in your friendship, but the friendship itself will remain firm.

Some Famous Tigers:
Sir David Attenborough, Natalie Wood, Tom Berenger, Agatha Christie, H.G. Wells, Tom Cruise, Leonardo DiCaprio, Emily Dickinson, Isadora Duncan, Roberta Flack, Frederick Forsyth, Jodie Foster, Stevie Wonder Sir Alec Guiness, Hugh Hefner, William Hurt, Dylan Thomas, Marilyn Monroe, Demi Moore, Beatrix Potter, Diana Rigg, Lionel Ritchie, Kenny Rogers.

Compatible with :
Horse, Dragon, Dog
Less Compatible with : Rat, Ox, Rabbit, Tiger, Ram, Pig
Least Compatible with : Rooster, Snake, Monkey

Positive: The Tiger can be lovable, alluring, warm-hearted, altruistic, honourable, hard-working, pleasant, independent, engaging, dynamic and idealist sweetie pies.

Negative: The Tiger can also be rash, hot-headed, reckless, infatuated, quarrelsome, caustic, moody, predatory, rebellious, disobedient and irreverent rascals.

Aiming high in 2010.

So ok, while the New Year is technically a new beginning, because it's the start of a brand new year- we are still the same people we were hours before, during the previous year. We can't change our basic personalities nor our major flaws simply because the calendar changes.

On the face of it, it does seem pretty absurd and downright naive of us to even consider that a new year would usher in a new us. What we usually do instead is make a new year's resolution to make a better us. And the honest truth is, we make it because we hope, and hope is a precious and beautiful thing, right?

You see, we won't resolve to make changes if we are convinced that our life is basically over. That's why I am so happy Sid is making one because it only proves that he truly believe that his life isn't irrevocably set. He wants to make some changes in his routine because he believe, that he might, just might, be able to alter his life this year. I know Kirst wanted to quit smoking. It is a brave thing to hope and braver still to act on it. Me? I am going to make some drastic changes in my personal life. So please, be with me during this journey.

Well, the positive side of New Year's resolutions is the fact that they encourages me to reach higher goals, and to make the positive changes in my life and continue to grow in all aspects. Even if Christmas makes me sad, the prospect of the new year always lifts my spirit up. It never fail to give me a "New Year's hope" that I so excitedly grasp at before the New Year has even begun.

Hope indeed, makes what previously felt insurmountable suddenly seem attainable. So lets feed the hope, and support each one's resolution because we just might watch a resolution become reality.

So what is it you want to attain this year?