Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Plight of a single parent.

It is difficult and challenging to be a parent today, and it is even more difficult to raise children alone. Doubly daunting is the fact that I have three boys who's gender is a bit alien to me. But I believe that good solid parenting has less to do with the number of parents at home and more to do with the quality of parenting. My being a single parent was a result of a decision where it is perceived to be a viable option, where the benefit would be less conflict and tension at home.

No matter how loving and competent I am, I'm still only one person and I am doing a job most agree IS meant for two people. Its good that when this separation happened my boys are all grown up hence it was easy to remind them that we should work as a team. They are also involve in decision making and we decide what is important and we prioritize accordingly.

I am a working mom. I have to work to keep the roof over our head, put food on the table and see them through school. Sometimes I felt a pang of guilt as my work often hinders me from attending school activities. Many times I fail to watch my son participate in school competitions. You see, financial pressures can make balancing demands at home and work a constant struggle.

Sure there are times when I feel lonely, times when I feel beyond exhausted and times when I feel extremely stressed, but the one thing that keep me going are my kids.

My eldest son is now 19, a tall great lad with a soft heart and a delightful personality. My second son is 17, and I just burst with pride at him sometimes. My youngest is 15, and he is my angel. We are not the ideal TV, picture perfect family, I still scream, shout and nag at them. Like anyone else, the state of my son's bedroom drives me insane as do the long hours of internet games, the dirty dishes and wet towel left on the bed and I worry too much when they don't come home in time for dinner.

No we are not a broken family as insensitive people may call it. The term "broken" depicts a fractured, disconnected structure. I would like to believe that the kids and I are very well connected to each other - they just happen to live with a single parent.


ann said...

hello. you are a strong person dette you can do it. Your sons are your blessings ( maybe thats the reason your were given three) each one will support you and protect you with their own unique qualities. At least they are big enough to understand what happened. Just enjoy their company and always pray for guidance, it does not matter if you are raising them as a single mom, the most important thing is that you are there for them. Trust everything to God and He will give you answers. Just Do It!!! good job dette, smile

Boysie Gonzaga said...

Once a kid said: "mothers are parents - but are females". Such a cute and candid one-liner. I think the reason why you have managed to raise your three “thugs” is because you are a mother. Hey guys! I am not saying here we are the useless other half! I can boil water without drying up the teapot!
Mothers are perfect full-time, human, working machines. The “multi-tasking” word fits them to a “T”. God made them like that. Enough of the “broken” bullstuff Dette! You can make it girl – alone.


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