Friday, May 8, 2009
On being a mother.
Grown don't mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown? What's that suppose to mean? In my heart it don't mean a thing
It is an understatement to say that one of the most complex human relationships is that between a mother and child. Once you become a mother, that role never ends. It doesn't stop when your child reaches age 18, have or graduated from college. No, its a life-long position.
But thinking about it, do birds make good parents? They build nests for their young, feed them every day, and protect them from predators. But there is one thing we humans don’t do for our young and that is to teach them how to fly. Birds simply push their chicks out of their nest so that they will learn how to fly. It’s nature’s way of saying that learning does not always have to be easy. They young birds will have to learn flying the hard way.
My eldest son is already in his 20's yet Iam still washing his clothes and ironing them, afraid that he might burn all his shirts on the ironing board. I don't even allow him to cook, afraid that he might burn eggs in the pan, or dislike the taste of his coffee after putting too much sugar into it. But what if all the while he actually want to do things so badly that he is determined to learn how to cook, to make a good coffee. Should I allow him to destroy a shirt on the ironing board? To burn one, two, or three, until he learn to slide the iron well?
Maybe he does want to make things right by knowing what is wrong. To commit mistakes and learn from them, not by having somebody lay down the moral of every story. Maybe he want to answer the quiz first before he learn the concepts.
When i was his age I also didn't like waking up baby in the morning and eat a ready-made breakfast - I want to make one myself. I want to have to manage my own affairs. I know my baby has to be a man.
Harsh and risky as it may sound, I think it’s time I pushed him out of the nest. Perhaps he will fall the first time and get some limbs broken and bruised. The second time, he just might still struggle to stay in the air. But after that, who knows, he might be able to complete his first flight to the next tree. Yes, he will fall sooner or later, so that he can rise up again and fly.
As a mother I have to let him learn to fly alone. It is worth the risk.
Happy Mother's day to all mothers out there!!!