Friday, May 8, 2009

On being a mother.


Grown don't mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown? What's that suppose to mean? In my heart it don't mean a thing

It is an understatement to say that one of the most complex human relationships is that between a mother and child. Once you become a mother, that role never ends. It doesn't stop when your child reaches age 18, have or graduated from college. No, its a life-long position.

But thinking about it, do birds make good parents? They build nests for their young, feed them every day, and protect them from predators. But there is one thing we humans don’t do for our young and that is to teach them how to fly. Birds simply push their chicks out of their nest so that they will learn how to fly. It’s nature’s way of saying that learning does not always have to be easy. They young birds will have to learn flying the hard way.

My eldest son is already in his 20's yet Iam still washing his clothes and ironing them, afraid that he might burn all his shirts on the ironing board. I don't even allow him to cook, afraid that he might burn eggs in the pan, or dislike the taste of his coffee after putting too much sugar into it. But what if all the while he actually want to do things so badly that he is determined to learn how to cook, to make a good coffee. Should I allow him to destroy a shirt on the ironing board? To burn one, two, or three, until he learn to slide the iron well?

Maybe he does want to make things right by knowing what is wrong. To commit mistakes and learn from them, not by having somebody lay down the moral of every story. Maybe he want to answer the quiz first before he learn the concepts.

When i was his age I also didn't like waking up baby in the morning and eat a ready-made breakfast - I want to make one myself. I want to have to manage my own affairs. I know my baby has to be a man.

Harsh and risky as it may sound, I think it’s time I pushed him out of the nest. Perhaps he will fall the first time and get some limbs broken and bruised. The second time, he just might still struggle to stay in the air. But after that, who knows, he might be able to complete his first flight to the next tree. Yes, he will fall sooner or later, so that he can rise up again and fly.

As a mother I have to let him learn to fly alone. It is worth the risk.

Happy Mother's day to all mothers out there!!!

10 comments:

NEO-CONDUIT said...

Oh happy mums day to you too!!!
You coincide with our country, ours is tomorrow.
I'm am sure hun you are a fantastic Mum and many parents do the same as you, protecting there kids, there is no real right or wrong.
I believe in the nest thing.
You are right we will be parents until the day we die, so these youngsters have to start learning independence and how to fend for themselves as soon as possible.
I don't mean kicking them out of home at a young age, but the basics in survival.
In other countries like Africa the kiddies are shown how to cook, and prepare food almost before they can walk..I always have believed if there is a war or something, I would like to know that my kids could be self sufficient.
Every child needs to learn basic life skills, so they don't become dependant and develop learned helplessness.
He will always be your baby hun, but he is still a man, let him fly:)
love Kirst
xoxo

Tracey said...

My almost 20 year old son has this bloody sickness virus today. Yes I have been with him all night with glasses of water! (poor baby!) I fuss too much probably, but that's the reason I had children!
Trace x x xxxxxxx

Odette said...

Kirst,
thanks! we mothers work 24/7 and there seemed no end to it. but i don't complain. it's a job i cherished most.
our kids, no matter how old they get will always remain our babies, no?
hahaha!
hope you will have a pleasant day 2moro.

Odette said...

Tracey,
so even william got sick?! damn, the virus seemed to be on a hitting spree!
hope you won't get down with the flu yourself or stitch will have to take matters into his hands, er paws, hahaha!

jen said...

My kids are young yet, but I know the day will come when they leave the nest!! It makes me sad to think about it!! My sister just had to say goodbye to her only child. He joined the marines. Very sad Mothers Day for her!!

Happy Mothers Day to you Odette!!

Jen

Fi from Four Paws and Whiskers said...

So agree Odette... but some leave the nest faster than others lol - certainly been a wide spread of "abilities" in my kids - but the youngest is soon to be 18 and he does all his own washing and irons shirts far better than I can.... but he does coem to me for advice on stains!

Give him a push - you owe it to his future wife!!!

Happy Mother's Day
x

Odette said...

jen, fi,
thanks! i did have a wonderful celebration coz a cousin from canada came home. with my boys, we started the night by feeding our soul by attending a vigil prayer, then we proceeded to a restaurant to feast on sea food dishes.
my boy's are learning the household chores and i think they will have to learn cooking next. hahaha!

Boysie Gonzaga said...

Happy Mother's Day best friend!

Odette said...

thanks, boy! abi mo ari di subong si Nancy and we were ablm, e to spend two days together. kaina she left na for Bacolod, so i guess she will be celebrating mother's day with her titas. ga hambal to sya nga masugba sila karon.
thanks for the greeting my friend!

Amy said...

Happy mothers day Odette. I will always fuss over my kids...thats what you have them for.
My mum has always fussed over us and problably always will do...its nice!
xxxx

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