Sunday, May 17, 2009

Kindness does matter.


What kind of a person do you want to be once you've gotten somewhere?

What if you got that dream job that pays you handsomely, or you are promoted to a position that gives you power over many people? Would being incredibly rich make you happier and less kinder? It never made sense to me that someone who would achieve any kind of success in life, would want to become a jerk!

Sad, but somehow it certainly seems like the unkind, the wildly ambitious, the stab-you-in-the-back types are rewarded time and again. It really shocks me when I encounter people who think kindness doesn't matter. Because I think it's pretty much the only thing that matters. No, it's not about being good or nice, which really often has to do with worrying about being liked. It's ultimately about compassion, and recognizing that all of us are going through it all in our own particular way, no matter what our social status is.

Of course, It's not our job to play judge and jury, to determine who is worthy of our kindness and who is not. We just need to be kind, unconditionally and without ulterior motive, even—or rather, especially when we'd prefer not to be. For me, it's simple and not entirely unselfish: When I'm kind, I feel good; when I'm not, I feel horrible.

Where will any of this get you in life's battle? Maybe nowhere. But that's not really the point. Kindness is not about instant gratification. Rather think of it as a low-risk investment that will appreciate steadily over time. One thing I've found to be true in whatever field we are in is that, whatever you put out there comes back to you in some form eventually. And hopefully, one day you look around and say: "Hey, I've got a pretty nice life full of fantastic people."

If you have a better definition of success, then, I'd like to hear it!

16 comments:

Tracey said...

treat others as you wish to be treated yourself is my motto, but if some one riles me or is rude, they get both barrels!......Success is finding happiness and contentment whether rich or poor, but I am sure I would be more content if I were rich!!

Love Tracey x x x

rattles said...

i like to live by the same moto of treating others how i want to be treated myself!

It was lovely to hear from you again - im slowly catching up and regaining my strength! It was a very scary experience and really knocked my confidence a lot! Im now having talks with the doctors at hospital to get some proper venous access via a port or long line that stays in more perminently so we'll see how that goes!

The appeal was unsuccessful but im now taking it through to tribunal. I have a great solicitor but its been very stressful over the last few weeks as ive not been at my best but its all gone to the courts we're just waiting for them to reach a decision within the next 28 days. I'll keep you posted!

I've caught up on your last few posts and i love how you write so as soon as i get better internet access i will be able to follow your blog better :-) you share a lot of values that i also have and i find it really refreshing to read that in other people!

I hope to speak soon. Ive just ordered a new notebook laptop from vodafone so it arrives on tues! This will be great as i will be much more able to fill in my blog and keep in touch when im feeling up to it even in hospital! :-)

Take care and keep in touch odette. Lotsa lv Rattles Xxxx

NEO-CONDUIT said...

Yes hun kindness does matter.. I also agree with Tracey and follow the same line, it doesn't matter what profession someone is or social status we all are the same on the inside. We all go to the toilet, suffer loss, and love, our bodies breakdown and we all fail at something in life. If a person is genuinely nice to me it is returned in full and beyond, if someone is nasty I cut them off, and never play nice with them.
xoxoxoxo

Odette said...

Tracey,
i know why, so you can take Amy to the best hospital and be assured that she will be attended to as soon as you step into the hospital premises.yeah, sometimes, being moneyed does make life easier..
but i believe kindness is an inherent quality that doesn't change by how much you have in your pocket.

Odette said...

rattles,
i know how frustrating this case can be as whatever the result is, you still cant go back to your job 'coz the company is bent on kicking your ass. such insensitive people! its the reason i have written a post about the harsh reality of how difficult it is to get a job if one has a chronic illness.
i do hope though that your agent will be able to find you another one. does the old lady still report for her piano lesson?
iam glad you will be able to post more. as i do wanna know your progress.
rattles, there are other people here with chronic illness and i hope you can also follow their blogs as their story will also inspire you. you will find them from among the list of blogs i am following.
lets hear from soon, ok?
hugs!

Odette said...

Kirst,
a lot of times people who had been hurt or had been treated unkindly, would put on a cloak of indifference. and it will take kindness to draw them out of their cucoon.
a simple kind words, a smile even, can inspire others to be kind.
hey, are you pain free now? are you sleeping well? i do hope so.
xoxo

Mimi said...

I try to live by the Golden Rule. I am also shocked at how rude and cruel people can be. Is it because as a societ we are overschedules and have lost touch with our humaness?

Sid Brechin said...

Odette you finally picked a subject which I feel completely unqualified to comment on.

Fi from Four Paws and Whiskers said...

I think I have reached the stage in my career when I can say I have a decent income, authority of a sort, and some influence in my industry. It is as high as I want to go and still retain time for my family and friends.
I have colleagues in the same level of "authority" - some a little higher - some a little lower. Most are probably better off than me materialistically! However, one of them treats her staff appallingly. They brace themselves in any calls or contact because they don't know if they will be praised or shouted at for a minor mistake.

This is abuse. It is totally unacceptable, especially in a professional job... but it happens far too often and the bosses are hard to complain about. I don't think I have yelled at any of my staff, nurses, or students in the last 30 years of practice.... and I don't intend to start! I am contented... most of the time anyway! However, I believe the problem can be with low self esteem - being out of theri depth and feelign they have to weild weapons to maintain status.
Many people with poor interpersonal skills are negative, dominating and lack empathy... but their drive and commitment and other "skills" get them too high in an organisation.
Sadly, selection of doctors, nurses and vets on purely academic grounds increases the numbers of arrogant people in these workforces....

Odette said...

Mimi,
people who are unkind may have been treated unkindly and harshly while growing up. that's why it is equally important for us parents to be kind to our kids as it will measure how well they will treat others in return.

Odette said...

Sid,
napakabait mo, and i can attest to that. masaya ako na nakilala kita. i wish my sons can emulate your kindness...

Odette said...

Fi,
i don't understand why people in power would have to carry their weights around - bullies with big job titles that make the people working for them miserable.
there are also those who pretend to be nice, while all the while trying to sabotage you.
well, at least we encounter them only a few hours each day, but think what their kids or spouses has to deal with in and day out!
i bet these unkind people also live a miserable life. as the saying goes, what goes around comes around...

rattles said...

hi odette
Its frustrating yes but im sure when im fit enough again i will return to lab work which i love or teaching -which im going to pursue just as a fall back whilst im recovering!
I follow a few blogs yes there are some very inspiring people out there. I will thankfully after tomorrow have decent web access which will help me keep in touch with all my great friends on here. You guys are my support network and its a great relief to write into the abyss sometimes! :-)

I hope you are well odette! Speak soon and thankyou so much for your continuing support its very much appreciated.
Lotsa lv Rattles Xxxx

Sid Brechin said...

Thank you Odette. However your Filipino is far advanced compared to what little I speak. Even my mini-dictionary at the back of my phrasebook was not capable of translating for me.

I have decided to order myself a couple of much better ones.

What I meant by being unqualified is I often feel that in trying to help I end up doing more harm than good. I do my best but sometimes my best is the worst thing I could do under circumstances which I am not aware of at the time.

Amy said...

Hi Odette, thanks for your comments...look forward to seeing you on sunday lol!! ;)

Been catching up with all your great posts!

I cannot tolerate rude people and quickly lose my temper with them...i am very much like my mum! xxx

living_with_ba said...

I live by the same moto, I treat others, how I would wish to be treated, but I view myself as sucessful because I have friends surronding me - true, not many of them know me outside of the internet, and in RL I have only a handful of people I could call my friends, but they're good friends and we've stuck together though thick and thin.

I see myself as a sucessful author no matter how many books I sell, just because I've been published and that's enough for me, any extra is just an added bonus!

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