Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Of wrecked laptop and struggles.
I am now blogging from home and not from the office as my laptop is on vacation. Haha. Yes, funnier even if you know that a thunderstorm had rendered it useless! That means, I have to stay late at night to read blogs and comment and write responses.
So, this is a private struggle for me which is nothing compared to what my other friends had to deal with. Joey and Amy are struggling with chronic pains, Rattles, of losing her job, Sid with the emptiness of the present, Kirst and Marie, with the burden of an operation gone bad, and Ray's fear of a recurring cancer. All private. All personal. All uniquely and singularly theirs.
Me, Tracey and Fi and the rest of you can only look on caringly, of course, but there’s little else we can do. Yes we give support, but we cannot possibly know the cost of every step they take. It is not our arms that are heavy, not our legs that have gone to lead, nor our knees that are weak. Yes we cannot even possibly take the pain away because the pain cannot be taken away, nor eased because it simply cannot be eased. In fact, some of us may never sense the pain they go through, the hurt, the bitterness, so we despise it or ignore it - but it doesn’t quite matter which... the effects are all the same. In the end, struggle is private.
But struggle is a fact of life. What we struggle against, what we struggle for, what we struggle with, they all test and hone us. It is the resistance itself that makes us strong. The great choice with which struggle confronts us, is not whether to accept it as struggle comes without conditions. It doesn’t matter whether we accept it. The choice is whether to crumble under it or to brave it.
Struggle however is but a necessary gift. Of course, it is not a gift which, at first sight, we want! Any serious struggle is a call to recognize that life is full of gifts that come and go, come and go as we ourselves come and go through the many stages of living.
It is the grace of discovering that our lives are more than any one event and that we, not fate, are really what will determine what the rest of our lives will be like.
I know I'll be struggling without my laptop for days. But what the heck!