Monday, November 9, 2009

Going ga ga over Xmas gifts..

Time flies real fast, no? Only a few days away and its Christmas and that mean another problem for me. Should I put everybody I know in my Christmas shopping list? Even those I just kinda forget about? I mean I don’t really ignore them, but not putting them in my list just make me a bit negligent right? And how about the people I don’t generally talk to outside of the months that end in -ber? I mean, not minding them during Xmas as I do the rest of the year. See where I am going?

I can not sew beautiful crafts or create special items that I can give for Xmas like Tracey, but fortunately there are hundreds of billions of mall and bazaar stalls in Metro Manila and hundreds of billions of stalls mean a gazillion billion items, many of which prominently display what has come to be known as the “humbug gift”.

The top two items that come to mind are:

Bookmarks with Zodiac signs. Ok, help me on this one. If I get two of each signs, then I got 24 people down. I should be safe with that right? Unless the people I have been avoiding are all Taurus in which case there is clearly some karmic force at work in my life and Christmas shopping is probably the least of my worries.

Mugs! I just love this as everbody’s gotta drink, right? If I can get a good discount for bulk purchases, you think I should go for it? Yeah, so what if they have names like Johnny or Mario? I am sure I am bound to know somebody named Johnny or Mario who drinks coffee – if I don’t yet, then I will. I still have 44 days to go to find one.

Of course there are some people who despite the relative anonymity in my life still deserve a personal touch. Cases like this I think requires a teddy bear. With those deep little soulful eyes, I think a teddy bear will always make somebody go “awww” even if they already have loads of teddy bears that made them go “awww”. Whad ‘ya think?

And thank goodness for bars of soap and candles – and the fact that they populate almost every single commercial enterprise in all mankind. Small, simple and when it comes right down to it, practical. Hey, everybody needs soap. Yes, even if the bar of soap got snack food like oatmeal and granola in it. It is still soap and is good for cleaning things!

The candles though I’m not so sure. I try to think what their purpose could be outside of the odd blackout, or romantic evening now and then, but I do still think they make nice gifts. Despite the fact that they’re next to useless, they are very pretty.

Hmmm... that should be enough to cover most anybody. But there is still a single safest Xmas gift that I can think of, whether I am in speaking term with the person or not – “Our Daily Bread”. This little booklet contains “food for thought” something many people suddenly start hankering for around this time of the year. And even if they’re not, I am sure nobody will ever bash me for sharing biblical wisdom on Christmas…even agnostics and atheist won’t take it too badly. Only a devout non-Christians are going to think me a tad insensitive.

Now, aren't you glad you are not in my Xmas shopping list?


Angry American said...

There's a real simple answer to people you don't really know or don't really hang out with: GREATING CARDS!!!

If you feel you MUST get a gift, put a gift card or pre-paid credit card and let them pick out their own damn gift. :D

I went to get a last minute halloween card and they had replaced them with x-mas cards already. Let me enjoy halloween and thanksgiving first DAMMIT!!!

Just think, 3 damn months of x-mas cards and commercials, and over a month of mind numbing x-mas music.

It's all an intergalactic brainwashing program to convince us that old Saint Nick isn't a reptilian who flys around in a human pulled saucer sled while tossing toxic chinese products under the tree and eating family pets just before he's beamed back up by Scotty's great great great great great great grand uncle from the year 1492 who was actually swabbing the decks on Columbus' ship just before he was abducted by lesbian murmaids who eat male human's brains and replaced them with jelly fish and and and...


Tracey said...

Ray, you do go on!!!! But have to agree. Odette, you're too nice to everyone! just send a card....I refuse to think about buying gifts for at least another month, Theres already xmas trees up every bloody where I go.....I'm with Ray... Bah humbug! xxx

Odette said...

actually i am not Trace..i am too stingy to buy gifts. also, because i don't have much to buy with, hahaha!

Sid Brechin said...

Greeting cards for Taurians are not a problem as those folks already know they are full of bull. How about totally useless gifts like coffee mugs with the handles on the inside.

I find the most popular gifts are those that no one else would have the nerve to give. Laughter is the best medicine.

Mimi said...

I only buy gifts for children and grandparents.
The kids give their teachers gifts, but the usually make them.
I have to admit that I like the holiday music, the decorations, food, movies,etc.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Merry Christmas!
Happy Holidays!
Happy Hannukah!
Happy Kwanza!
Happy New Year!
Be joyful!
Share the love!

Odette said...

i know Christmas isn't your favorite holiday of the year. but i didn't know your not Santa but the Grinch!

Odette said...

coffee mug with the handle on the inside?? i am afraid they might throw it back at me!


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