It seemed just like yesterday when my boys are still hanging on to my skirt. I have to give them a little nudge to make them let go. Sending them to school the first time and hear them cry when I have to leave, made me panic. Oh yes Amy, I do understand how you feel!
We Filipinos keep our children close to home. We do not allow our kids to leave home to live on their own unless they had gotten hitched. In fact, some even stay with their parents after they had married and are raising children of their own.
My eldest will be in his 20’s soon and my 2nd son 18. A year and two from now, both will be graduating from school. Society considers them officially adults and even when they will still be living with me, they shouldn’t think that I will continue to take care of them as I did when they were children. I understand that the world will not treat my children the way I do. So I have to be harsher on them, urged them to interact and look for a jobs.
I don’t want to give them money when they asked for it because they will not learn to value it, and they won’t be grateful. I don’t want them to get into the habit and an attitude that I am suppose to give them money when they want it.
I didn’t have an easy life myself. I depended on no one to take care of my needs. It takes hard work and sacrifice to get me to where I am now. This life’s battle gave me muscle and strength to face the world and I would like my kids to develop those muscles. Not that I will throw them to the wolves, but there is a difference between helping and doing everything for them.
My job as a parent is not to teach my kids how to be a child for life. My job is to teach them how to be a responsible adult. By teaching then responsibility and consequences for their actions, I am therefore preparing them for life. Although I admit it may take a little more time as my kids had about fifteen to twenty years habit of me taking care of their every need.
If only the future doesn't look so bleak...
2 comments:
odette, frankly, i admire you a lot of being a courageous woman. you did very well in raising you boys alone as i have understood. first time i read your blog was your story of leaving home with the kids. i was deeply moved and started following your blogs. thanks to boysie who introduced your site.
you are doing great as a mother, as a person..and a very interesting bloggers.your kids must be proud of you!
Amna,
thanks, i tried to deal with circumstances the best way i can.
the service of being a mother sometimes gets little or no recognition, so i shouldnt feel bad, although i know my kids do appreciate me.
thanks for all those nice comments, i always strain my neck looking for them, you know, hahaha.
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