Monday, February 16, 2009
I have always admired Tracy for her beautiful home as I have seen from her blogs. I particularly like the way she kept it shabby and chic. And all these, she did with passion.
A home they say is where your heart is. But what if I dont have a home? I don't consider this apartment I am renting right now as my home. What I have instead are fragmented memories of houses I have lived in. So, where should my heart be?
Going home to the province where I once lived only made my homelessness more apparent. Gone is my room, and I have to keep my clothings in my luggage all through out my stay there. It seems like people there can enjoy only my momentary stay, or the temporary entertainment I can provide.
But it was necessary for me to leave home when I went to college and more so after graduating. I have to look for a job and the city life beckons me. It wasn't just all about adventure and the excitement of a new place, it's about making a dent in the world. Of finding one's niche, but it also means going through a thousand doors and waking up to see a hundred different ceilings and not being able to call any of them your own. So far I have moved to seven different houses since I came to the city.
But I have always created a picture of a home - my home. This home will not be mere concrete or wood, or steel or glass. It will not be featured on the front page of architectural magazines. It will not have the most fashionable furniture or the most elegant curtains and rugs. This home will not be a house, or just any other place. It will be a shelter and a refuge.
This home will be decorated by the memories of my most cherished moments. It will stand on the foundation of love, and it will have a roof of comfort. It will have windows of hope through which rays of faith may enter and bring light to the entire place. Most importantly, it will have an open door to welcome the people I keep close to me, the people who have dealt with my idiosyncracies and refused to be pushed away. The people who have kept me going in my journey and who have made me the person I am and everything that is good in me. It will be the most beautiful home that anyone has ever seen. And one day, I will find it - or build it.
I have a 500 sq m. lot in the province. This shouldn't be difficult. Some day.