Saturday, September 19, 2009
It's a Sunday again, and as usual the house is empty save for Cedric who chose to stay home. The other boys had gone out early and they won't be back till evening. Oh, I haven't ironed clothes today because I have hired a lady to do it, so I can concentrate on house cleaning as I plan to clean every nook and cranny of the bedroom, kitchen and living room. I was even able to clean out the boys and my own closet... Yay!
I was glad I still have much time left before lunch to fight off mobsters and I was very surprise to see my mafia family growing. I have 166 members at present from a measly 22 when I was starting. Now I won 90% of the fights and I am getting a sinful amount of money from my properties income, hahaha. But I am even happier to catch Sid still online and I am glad he is back to his jolly self. You should read his new post and see how his mind works, although I admit the antibiotics must have something to do with it. You should also read his previous post so you will understand him better and why his state of mind and mood mean a lot to me.
Its been clear to me that Sid live his life entirely as a compassion for others even when his own life was empty save for some dream he has for his future. He could have easily write people off but as he had said in his other post, he walks towards the challenge rather than running away from it. But for those not in the know, Sid is just one of so many who live alone and love being alone.
I don't consider myself a loner, but I am comfortable being left alone once in a while. As I write this, I wonder what the lives of Sid, AA and the rest of those people who live alone are made of, why they sit in an armchair all alone every evening watching television, why they find it so hard to change their ways. For those who are depressed I understand why some, when they go to sleep at night have as their greatest wish not to wake up in the morning.
But is insight and understanding everything? What about entertainment, camaraderie, simple human friendship? Yes, those things too enrich a life. But as a practical rule of thumb I can only learn to apply what’s in front of me in the present moment, as long as I believe that they are real and know where this in front of me may lead to.
And who knows where it may lead? We may just achieve what we all want to achieve, with the rest of the desires lined up for fulfillment later. Despite Sid and AA’s times of disenchantment and loneliness, I know that they still get periodic hope trying to tell themselves that in the future, perhaps they will get more of what they want - the perfect soul mate love of their life, an exotic location to live and sufficient money not to have to forgo simple pleasures all the time.
Yet it’s all a matter of degree and time being the only obstacle, then sweet oblivion! Of course, it’s a bugger to plan. So we will just let it get on with itself and devote our energies solely to the moment.
Have done so for many years, will continue to do so...