Who should fear whom?

Politicians are at it again. Those vying for a position in the coming election are throwing mud at each other. But it is not their foibles that gets me the goat. Rather it's more of their attitude being in office.

Why do they travel with guards trailing their car and with a siren to boot? They expect traffic to open like the red sea just because Mr. Senator is passing? Why can't they beat the traffic like us common citizen?

One would think that we, the citizens, owed them a debt of gratitude for their wonderful projects, and timely greetings (complete with badly photo-shopped pics). They project themselves as magnanimous benefactors, showering us with job fairs and flu vaccinations and only expecting in return our thanks and praise. Which seems like a fair exchange, until one realizes that they are behaving like a pilot who expects to be given a ticker-tape parade every time he is able to land the plane without anyone dying.

Let me repeat: They work for us! All of them. We are paying for their salary! From the lowest functionary to the President herself, whether we voted for them or not, whether we agree with them or not.

But it has become increasingly difficult to find a government official who does not believe and act like he/she and his entire family are entitled to his current position simply by reason of his identity. If you ever had a run-in with a high level official (or a member of his extended family), chances are the first thing you will hear is: “Don’t you know who I am?”

To which, I suggest, the most appropriate answer would be: I do, but you have obviously forgotten.

If we are to have the government we deserve, this must change.


In other countries, we can already see the writings on the wall. Some years back, a leading United States politician was brought down because he was filmed insulting a man with a racial slur.

In Iran we have seen a muffled populace rise up and break the state-imposed silence with the help of social media and a sympathetic international community.

A major British newspaper now provides an online platform in which British citizens can audit the digital records of allowance claims filed by the members of Parliament.

The Internet also allowed us simple citizens to unleashed our capacity for speech and participation which is previously not available. And with the arrival of camera phones and 24/7 mobile Internet, the time is fast approaching when secret backroom deals will be revealed to the public.

Our political leaders may not fear us now. But soon they will.

I hope.

It's 1984 once again.

The Filipino jailbirds spawned a worldwide Internet hit two years ago with their morning exercise routine using synchronized movements based on the groundbreaking 1982 "Thriller" video.
The prisoners' dance found its way onto the popular Internet video-sharing site You Tube, where it developed a huge fan base.
The four-minute video has so far generated more than 27 million hits.

I know I will get a bashing from AA who have had enough of talks about MJ. He said his tv spews out nothing but news and tribute to the guy from morning till evening. I am sure as hell he won't read this post because just the thought about the subject would make him puke!

But I cannot help it. You see Michael Jackson's moonwalk had more than just an entertainment effect on Filipino lives. We live in a third world country, where rich kids could be living nextdoor to kids in shanties. Where the difference on paper between both family and anywhere in the neighborhood is staggering.

But they have one thing in common - Michael Jackson.

When "Thriller" hit it big, there were no more class devide left in the my country. There were no more rich, no more poor. Every teener had a copy of his poster or has a notebook or a bag or a plastic cup with MJ's face plastered on it. And everyone had tried to learn all the moves to "Thriller", or had bought a jacket like the one he wore in "Beat It", or figure out how to moonwalk. Many of the boys and girls tried to sing like Michael Jackson. Every street vendor sold a "minus one" tape of Michael's songs with no vocals so they could perfect their act.

Michael Jackson wasn't just music. When you live in the Philippine, it was a strange mix of being ahead and behind at once. We are close to Japan, so CDs and other neat technology was in our hands before the States. But the States knew what was hot six months before we did. There was no internet or cell phone technology to keep people in the loop. Yet Michael Jackson was hot at every time, all the time. He was our "connect". There wasn't anyone who wasn't a fan. There wasn't a boy who didn't twist an ankle or break his momma's vase practicing the moonwalk.

I am sure you too have probably watched so many MJ's video by now and didn't realize you were tapping your feet. Your legs have moved a few times to "Billy Jean". Ha ha, maybe even high-kicking that left leg, tossing sneakers across the kitchen! We all, once again, have no colors or class.

I believe that we are all quietly mourning in our hearts, maybe not shedding a tear, but on the outside you are paying tribute by singing along and tapping that foot. Whatever you believe about him, whatever you think he did or didn't do, however he died, whatever his issues, remember that as magical as Michael was, he was human just like us.

Yet his gift was to entertain, enlighten, perform, and give like no other(when he did a concert here, he took time to visit a children's hospital and even donated money).

We all know it. That's why we are tapping our foot.

For Kirst, Ray, et al.

Picture this: You’re in a bar, and a guy/girl a few seats over starts flirting. Soon, you’re sharing personal details — the last movie you’ve seen, music you like. Then, if you happen to be in a big city , one of you would inevitably asks what the other does for a living.

Of course, you dreaded that question so much, and that’s when things get uncomfortable, especially when all his/her friends are standing around listening. Firts, because you are not working. And second, because you were diagnosed with a chronic illness, or have undergone a life altering operation.

Since you've been on disability, you had a hard time imagining anyone seeing you as a potential partner. Among other things, maybe because you can't have kids and have a disfigured body due to the operation. So after treatment, when you could go out again, you remember thinking, What the f--- do I say to the “What do you do?” question?!!

You thought well, I can honestly tell that I can’t work! That statistically, I don’t have long to live. That the fact that I’ve survived and lived is a miracle! Boy, am I a catch! And when this guy or gal says, “So, you’re cured, right?” and you’ll say, “No. Iam not cured, my illness is incurable” And they’ll say, “Wow. That’s heavy. Bye.”

Yeah, I know it's difficult getting a date, or having a relationship when one has a chronic illness. Or even a cancer survivor, right Ray? Maybe because not many would sign up to become a co-survivor, and they just dont want to get involved in your battle. But you could not deny the fact that falling in love and being in a relationship is a distraction you need. Loving someone and being loved can be therapeutic and it's a way of healing youself from the pain and insecurities.

It IS possible to find love in spite of chronic illness - and it doesn't have to be the kind of love you settle for. It can be with someone fantastic, understanding, creative, compassionate and more. But you have to be ready to be real with people, and be patient while they learn who you are.

Yes Kirst, there will be people who are scared off. You don't want someone like that anyway, do you? I know you deserve someone strong and secure - someone who loves you for who you are, in spite of your "weaknesses." Any man who can be so accepting of your illness, especially the worst part of it, is definitely a keeper.

So don't be scared to fall in love. And this goes to you too Joey and Rattles, and Sid! Who knows, life is full of surprises and you may still enjoy the love of a man/woman who is incredibly supportive, infinitely patient - and adorably sexy!!

Freedom from fear.

I believe that everyone, young and old alike, experiences anxieties and fears at one time or another. Of course, feeling anxious in a particularly uncomfortable situation never feels very good. Why, I’m well aware that at the back of my mind, thumping quietly like a drumbeat, are the twin horrors of Guilt and Panic.

Guilt Guilt Guilt Guilt.

Panic Panic Panic Panic.

But I don't want them to over come me and take over. So the trick I’ve learned is simply not to listen. My mind is very well trained like that. But then I realize that this is not the best solution.

I don’t mean fears like the fear of height or spiders or public speaking … although we should face these fears too … I’m talking about fears that I know I should face but just push back anyway, not wanting to deal with them.

I’ve had those horrors of guilt and panic at the back of my mind, many times. I’ve done it with bills — I let the bills pile up, trying to ignore them, not wanting to face them.

I’ve done it with my health, knowing I have cholesterol problem yet, not wanting to think about the things I was eating. I’ve done it with projects that I knew I should be working on, but didn’t want to think about them … because I was afraid, for some reason, to face them. I've done it with bad relationship for fear of hurting people I care about... and many more.

My main fear at the moment is losing my father. Life is so rushed these days I find it harder to make the time for family. One of the things I want to get sorted sooner rather than later is my work/life balance. Then I can get to spend more time with family, my father included.

I guess another word for this fear is worry… it’s a hard habit to kick. Fears have power over me not because they’re so horrible — even if some of them might be kinda bad — but because I allow them to hide in the darkness and intimidate me.

I’m sure you’ve heard it said that there is never a reason to worry. If a problem has a solution, we should start working on the solution (no need to worry.) If there is no solution, we should start working on acceptance (worry won’t help at all.)

We all have fears. There is none among us so brave so as to be fear-free. All throughout our lives, we have to conquer all sorts of fear. There is none among us who is fearless. The fact is that we just fear less as we conquer our fears.

How about you? Do you have fears lurking in the deepest, darkest corners of your mind? Fears you don’t want to face and try to push back?

Then shine some light on those fears.

It’s good to learn to recognize these fears, to become aware of them. They really have power over us when we allow them to fester in the dark, when we do our best not to think about them.

And when you’ve done that, you’ll feel light, relieved, happy.

Reflections.

I just read Sid's post about growing old and this made me thoughtful. It's such a touching post that you need to go check it. The same made me take a deeper look into my own aging process.

As I stand in front of the mirror brushing my now shorter hair, I studied the image that is looking back at me. Oh, how I wish I can change something every time I looked into the mirror, although it didn't show me anything I should be upset about, except for some creeping gray hair. Hahaha!

As the brush navigate the now graying strands, I studied my brown skin in the mirror. Was I really too dark? Well, I am not fair skinned, that's for sure. But what was so bad about being dark? It's natural. I am Filipina, dammit!

Being a Saturday, I am in a khaki shorts, a simple tee and flipflop. Yes sometimes there is an advantage to looking different, to being under dressed, to having different faces at your disposal. For one, I can go to so many more places and mix with so many different people than I might otherwise not be able to if I always played it one way. It's nice sometimes not to be noticed or to blend with people that I am more likely to get what I want. I believe one don't always have to "impress" people and put on airs of morality and importance. One can get what she want in hundred of different ways.

There are so many women who liked to play that game of status and money. They wear the latest designer clothes, use skin whiteners, have a face lift, talk about their latest trip to the States and the hot and trendy restaurant in New York they've eaten at. Not so subtly reminding people how important they are because they are rich.

Well that is okay when you need it. Even though I am not anywhere near rich, I knew how to impress people with that angle if I had to. I can put on the right clothes and jewelry, offer up good table conversation, nothing but the most impeccable manners and charm. But in this world, there is so many other directions one could go, so much out there that one could be.

With brush strokes now becoming slower as if caught in a trance, I thought about the struggles I have been through, especially after losing my business. There were times I didn't know how I would be able to feed my kids. I lowered my expectations and learned to live from meal to meal. And we got by. I accepted a job even when the plant is outside the city, doing marketing work on the side, getting what I needed and wanted. This is where I learned the value of being different people, of different modes of dress, of having many faces out of need for survival.

Iam glad I had pulled myself through the worst of my ordeal, and set my kids up in a decent house and educated them. But the battle isn't over yet. I have to continue fighting to learn and continue learning because it is essential for survival. I wasn't born into privilege and I am grateful for those people who had unselfishly helped me get by.

Oh yes, now I know why I like looking in the mirror. Because after all the turmoil, I'm still here - I am still standing in front of the mirror. Still hopeful to see what's going to happen at the end of the rainbow. I'm eager to find out what's there!

I'm fighting it out all the way - old and gray.

You should read this.

This is about a blog I had stumbled into - very cool and pleasant to the eye, and I suggest that everyone in the whole wide world should go over there and read it!!

Leanne, walk me through the small country town of Dorset - showed me flowers and her pet animals, local architectures with their raggle taggle cottage gardens and grand castles. She talks about new addition to her ever growing family when egg hatches and new litters arrived to take their own place in the household. She also takes me to the panic of birthing and the joy of new life.

She even shared poems and lovely quotations, and a lot of musings that are adorably funny but made me thoughtful - and oh so many other things. Reading her description of her world makes me feel like I am right there with her - enjoying the scenery and the animals and the food and the flowers. I know it will excite me to see her blog on my bloglines list of new posts - I can't wait for the next adventure!

So come with me to Somerset Seasons. Pull up a chair, make yourself comfy, because her kettle is always on!!

And say hello to Leanne for me when you are over there!!

Three deaths, a bad week.

Last night as I was watching the news, I learned that Ed McMahon had died, and that Farah Fawcett is hopeful that when she gets better she and Ryan Oneal will finally tie the knots. But as of this morning, news broke out that Farah had died after years of battling cancer.

But another news shocked me - it seems official enough to confirm, Michael Jackson had passed away, at the age of 50. This is very sad. He was a talented man, a legend. My heart feels sad. This is not the time for mean jokes. These people had been part of my growing up years.

Ed Mcmahon, Farah Fawcett, Michael jackson, this isn't a good week. My heart goes out to their families.

Enough said. I want to mourn in peace....