A letter to my son.

Dearest Tido,

My sweet first-born child Tido, you made me a mother when I honestly had no idea what I was doing. Oh yes, it was with you that I dipped my toes into motherhood always testing the water unsure if I was harming you or helping.

You know that I constantly worry about you and your younger siblings especially because I am not there to look after your welfare. But after talking to you last night on Skype, I know that inspite of my doubts, I can rely on you to face up to life challenges. I may not be with you physically now but always bear in mind that I always think what is best for you.



Hey, it is your birthday today. Wow, my eldest son had just turned 26! What you don’t understand about birthdays and what I haven’t told you is that when you are twenty six, you are also twenty five and twenty two and eighteen and ten and five and one. When you wake up today, don’t expect to feel twenty six because you won’t. You open your eyes and feel everything’s just like yesterday, only it is today.

And you don’t feel 26 at all. You feel you’re still twenty five. And you are underneath the year that makes you twenty five. Like today you might say something stupid and that’s the part of you still thirteen. Or maybe you still sleep with the blanket up to your head because you are scared, and that’s the part of you that’s five. Yes, you don’t feel twenty six. Not right away. It takes a few day, weeks even, sometimes even months. And you don’t feel smart 26 not until you’re almost twenty seven.


Son, no matter where your life takes you, always remember this: Life is not about you, or your clothes, your shoes, your hairstyle, not even your pimples. It’s not about the people you know, or the things you have. It’s not your diploma, or the places you have been to. Life is about love, of pain, compassion and happiness. It is about knowing how to deal with circumstances. It is about touching other people’s lives and making an impact. It is about making mistakes and learning from it.

So it is with this renewed happiness that I wish you a happy twenty sixth birthday. Know that I, your brothers and everyone in the clan love you even more than we ever could have thought possible.

much love,
Mama