Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Deal or no deal?

On his previous blog, Sid had mentioned about a bad behavior that a fellow member of his club had demonstrated. Also, Kirst had told us about a loud mouthed pregnant lady airing her complaint in the hospital corridor, and Amy, talks about that nasty lady spewing invectives to Steven. These stories kind of made me think. I wonder how I would react when confronted with such behavior in public.

I know that bad behavior is something we should not tolerate. But why is it that as we grow older, we end up tolerating it more and more? It also seems that behaving badly in public has become a normal behavior. I noticed that many people aren’t concerned anymore about other people’s feelings. Are we living in an age where saying what is on our mind is priority over any harm that it might do?

Sid had reacted to the public display of bad behavior by not accepting it. He spoke out and told this quarreling couple to stop. I think that is wise. Too many of us let bad behavior go because we don't want to rock the boat. I think this is a right time that we should rock the boat and rock it hard. It is not okay to behave badly no matter who you are.

I also think however, that Kirst did the right thing when she decided to walk away. We all have the power to walk away from bad behavior when it arises. We just have to learn to let go. If we don't have control over anything in the situation, then we better leave it behind and move on to something that we have control over. We can not control what other people do, but we can control what we will do about it. I think we will feel much better in the end if we don't let bad behavior into our life.

As an individual we should learn how to act properly. Bad behavior from other people is not our concern unless it is one of our children. I believe we should not take on the responsibility of other people’s behavior. It is enough that we keep track of our own behavior. Leave out what isn't ours.

Tsk, tsk tsk! Too bad that bad behavior is on the rise. Even superstar athletes are behaving badly, maybe because they thought they won’t have to pay for its consequences, although Tiger’s endorsements are now starting to back out. Hmmm..., I should then make the consequence concise and clear for my kids. And I should worry about how I behave rather than how others behave.

Pretty soon, it just may catch on.


Angry American said...

My ex and I used to argue almost everywhere we went, though usually not loud enough to draw attention. When she'd start in on me with one of her typical rants using an inappropriately loud voice, I'd walk away hoping to god nobody realized I was the unlucky shmuck with the loud mouth psycho wife.

I did my share of bitching at her for no good reason but, I usually don't get short with people, or raise my voice at them unless they start something with me. Oddly enouth, women here are more likely to yell at you than men.

If it's a guy who's playing "Billy Bad Ass" with me, I try not to get too loud but, I make it perfectly clear he's more than welcome to take a swing or step outside. If he doesn't wanna play, I just leave.

I have a short fuse so I'll already be trying to cool my jets before an argument is even over. In the past, I did this to keep myself from swinging. Lately, it's because I'm worried I'll have a stroke or brain aneurism do to old age. lol

When it comes to other people's arguments, I stay out of it. So far, I've never seen people get really out of hand. As for kids acting up, I do everything I can to keep myself from slapping them around or telling the parents to keep their mongrels under control.

Ok ok...I did say that once to a kid's parents but, that was a long time ago. :D

Tracey said...

Great post Odette. I look calm but don't get me started especially where my kids are concerned! I used to be very fiery and often got into fights at school, but now I'm a lady....sort of..LOL XXX

Odette said...

other people's bad behavior don't get to you as it use to, BUT little things that LordBuckwheat does, get your goat, hahaha!

Odette said...

you don't need to say anything, coz people will cower in fear when you give that look!

Sid Brechin said...

I have a few advantages Odette. I my Army officer's training, two my first college was in security and Law enforcement. I aimed to go into military intelligence while most of the class wanted police work. However I did become familiar with most criminal laws and the proper way to make an arrest what you could do it for what you needed a peace officer for ( police )and other laws as well. Then my company ( The TTC) to avoid lawsuits as they carry 4 and a half million people a day spends 50 grand each training their supervisory personal on a wide assortment of laws that have to do with behaving in public. I also use the net to download complete copies of said laws whenever they change.I also read them cover to cover. This gives me an advantage over many lawyers who only look up what they think applies. They end up overlooking a great deal.

I can also still handle myself in a physical confrontation. I'm unlikely to get hit even with multiple opponents and know to use the magic words your under arrest for... before ever swinging. Or using a more esoteric hold to hold them for the police. I was pretty common at work I've had to do such things twice since retiring.

Also I know how to get them worked up whispering so only they can hear. When the first words to police arriving on scene is " I pay you salary you know " You can pretty well garantee they are going away in cuffs ( a former military policeman taught me that trick ). Plus I do use Oscar Wilde's trick of writing down smart remarks and waiting till the right moment to use them.

They are quiet effective when said calmly and usally enough to make a nut leave embarassed. One I suggested would be far more effective coming from Kirst is " Your timeless beauty could only be enhanced by a Burkha." For the loud pregnant lady in a voice just loud enough for the group to hear " Has no one told you taking drugs during pregnacy can harm the baby " may have done the trick. Makes the whole group wonder if that is indeed why she is acting like that. Unfortunately when working on the subway that usually was the reason for that kind of behaviour. Hormones do get out of whack but not like that.

Tracey: Nothing I'm aware of says a Lady can't pick up a sword. Especially where her kids are concerned.

I remember once when one of my brothers was having trouble with the principal at school. Headmaster in England. She got called to the school. When she walked into the office the principal in a show of power said pointing to the man beside him " This is the district supervisor " My Mom pointed to the man beside her and said " this is my son's lawyer, he informs me some of your actions regarding my son violate the education act and can carry jail time for you ". Now guess whose side the supervisor is on?

Sid Brechin said...

Maybe I should add the school board paid the lawyers fees as part of the deal to keep the principal out of jail and the lawyer pointed out that if the supervisor had backed the principal he would be charged along with him. The lawyer had arranged for police to be waiting in the outer office if he had to have charges laid.

My brother had stopped a bully beating another student. The other student turned out to be the lawyer's son. The principal tried to claim my brother had terrible marks. His record was asked for and he had straight "A"s. At this point the police warned the principal they could take him in right then for attempting to falsify a police report.


Lol I just read your email :) great post hun!

My ex would scream at me in public and storm off. Including when I was at at hosp appt for my hysterectomy. We had a lengthy wait and he screamed at me in the middle of the waiting room and stormed off leaving me with my baby, no money and we lived in another town.
I was scared. But didn't cry I just held my head up and walked out.
I was dressed as a Muslim at the time (per his demands) so he gave a good name to the religion.

In public while dressed that way, the general public would stare at me, shove me, spit at me, and insult me, so I had it from both ends. I took off the scarf in the end and refused to wear at as I had no protection (as my ex would say its to protect us women).

Later on after my surgery with the Dr mengele she would yell at me, be intimidating to staff and patients alike. One day I had enough and yelled back at her.
I had been very sick and asked her a question she had for months refused to answer.

When I mentioned the bowel obstruction she exploded.
Then I did, I cried and yelled back at her, she then left the ward and verbally attacked the Nurses. A nurse later on high fived me for standing up to her. I wasn't scared of her again after that.

Sometimes we are forced to retaliate when we shouldn't have to.
Now when that Dr sees me she does a 360 and walks the other way......


Sid Brechin said...

Was thinking Kirst. Why not take a lawyer with you next time. Don't have to introduce him when the Doctor is rude to him have him introduce himself. You should have engaged on long ago. I'm sure you have some anti-discrimination laws. The lawyer can take depositons from the nurses and any lawyer worth his salt can make it look like if the doctor claims she is not incompetent then she caused your bowel obstruction on purpose.


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