Sunday, October 25, 2009

Of death and remembering.

Death comes with no warning, it send no advance notice. It just come and take the people we love away. Of course, we struggle to understand, to find comfort, to cope. And it is never easy to say goodbye.

Among those that I have lost in the past are my grandmother, my auntie Sophie and my brother. My grandmother was old, her death meant that she was no longer suffering from old age. My auntie on the other hand was terribly sick with cancer and her death provided peace of mind knowing that she no longer suffered and no longer in pain. But the death of my brother defied everything that I thought I understood about death. I could not understand why the Lord would take someone so young, so unexpectedly.

I struggled to find answers, especially since we didn't have enough time together. He was too young. He was supposed to be graduating in high school this year. It wasn't fair... It wasn't right.

For the benefit of those who have only recently followed my blog, you see, my brother died when he drown during a family outing. He wasn't even swimming, but was merely playing with the waves. A strong wave however, carried him into a deep hole and the current suck him into the water. My brother is not a good swimmer and his struggles only pulled him lower into the ocean. It took them a good 3 hours to find his lifeless body.

Yes, none of us have control over death. Therefore, I just have to remember the times that I had shared with Junjun, both good and bad. Remember all the joys, the sadness, the bond. Ahhh... those memories will never go away. That is something that no one can take away. When the body is gone, and the spirit has fled, all that is left are the memories. That is what keeps them alive in us.

I cannot go to Sagay on November 1st to join my folks as they offer prayer and spend that special day with our dearly departed. But I will be lighting candles here and remember them fondly. I know they all finally find peace as they no longer feel the pain of existence here on Earth. They are no longer susceptible to sadness, disappointment, grief, pain or sickness.

There is only joy and love for them now.


Anonymous said...

As we are facing serious cancer with a close loved one, it has brought death to our minds a lot. We all fight for more time with our loved ones, its so hard to think of not being able to at least say, "I love you." I know going through this again in my life, I appreciate the people in my life more, and even if I just write an email to keep in touch with someone, I do it. We never know when we will not be able to say what we need to say, and regret it. None of us have a lease on life or know when our time will be up. I am grateful for everyday to love my family and friends. I try to keep communication with all the people I love and care about as I don't want to wish I had someday, and not have the chance. I think its important to remember our loved ones, and also remember that our time is limited. We must make time for those people in our lives that we are forgetting. Someday we may not have the chance to say it, or be there, and they will be gone. Every time I start to slip up, something like this happens in my life, and reminds me of what truely is important in life. That is to love one another. Our busy lives will not have as much meaning as the love we have given to each other. I'm so sorry that you lost your brother so young, we are facing a similar situation, however not quite as young. I'm sure from reading your blog, that he knew that you loved him. That is the peace we carry, that they knew we loved them. Your blog is very special, thank you for all your thoughtful posts.

Fi from Four Paws and Whiskers said...

So sorry to hear this Odette. Coping with grief at a distance is hard - especially if there are no family near to meet with. My cousin sent me a recording of my uncles memorial funeral in the UK - was such a relief to be able to hear the tributes and cry properly. Is there any way you can ask them to record it?
fi x


That is sad hun, he will always be in you heart, mind and soul. hank you for sharing this and I hope you can find some comfort on this day

Sid Brechin said...

I recall when you were writing about how your brother's death affected your father.

I've been around my share of death. Not only relatives but in emergencies I have seen total strangers literally cut in two. For some reason I have never been afraid of dying myself but being helpless to prevent the deaths of others has had it's effect on me. I suspect to some small extent it contributed to the illness I deal with.

The only consoluation I can think of is that I believe no matter what faith if any we follow. Whatever happens to us after we leave this world will be fair. If there is any kind of judgement it will be a fair one and we go to whatever afterlife is the right one for each of us.

Tracey said...

That's tragic Odette. I will be thinking about you and with you on Nov 1. xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mimi said...

Odette, I am so sorry. I will be praying for you and your loved ones.
Hugs, Mimi

Lirish said...

It is pretty hard to believe when someone very close to your heart passes away. You still feel they are around you always, you remember their words, you remember that smile and those pranks. Its impossible to forget those good people who have had an effect on our life. We always cherish the memories and wish that they are in the heaven.They are equivalent to god who bless us and show the right paths. Its something like they dont die, but they become immortal in our hearts.

I pray god to grant peace to all the souls that have passed awaya and give good health and long life to all my dear and near ones..

living_with_ba said...

I lost three friends around this time last year, all three suffered so in this life and are now at peace and that brings so much joy to my heart, but still, I am selfish, I miss them, I wish they could have stayed here longer, but I remember them daily and there is a place in my heart that seems empty as they are no longer with us.


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