Saturday, August 15, 2009

Pls. explain the science of romance.

How we fall in love may be the hardest human behavior to explain. We can't explain why we feel inspiring sense of tenderness toward a person who sparks our interest. Or why we get an uplifting feeling of relief and reward when the interest is returned.

I think we human beings make a terrible fuss about lot of things but none more than romance. Oops, let me correct that, I know eating and drinking is important for keeping the species going- more so actually, since a celibate person can at least continue living, while a starving one can't. Yet, while we build a whole society around the simple ritual of eating, it never turn us flat-out nuts. Romance does.

Imagine just how people compose poetry, novels, movies, sitcoms for love. They even live for love, die for love, kill for love. Love seems stronger than the drive to stay alive. So what I and maybe the rest of you want to know is, Why? What makes us go loony over love?

The problem with romance also is that it doesn't always deliver the goods. For all the joy it promises, it can also play us for fool, particularly when it convinces us that we've found the right person, only to be disappointed later. It seems any overwhelming emotional experience that ratchets up our sensory system can distort our perception, thus allowing us to take a chance on someone we should have avoided.

So, why do fools fall in love? And when we do fall, why do our faculties of reason - and decency and self respect and even right and wrong - sometimes not come along? I am aware of those who has ended with an obsessive, possessive and even dangerous partners, yet for some reason they stick around - often at their own peril.

I know we can't precisely measure love, but we can't deny that it comes in different temperatures: cool, hot and scalding.


Tracey said...

It's a complete mystery, that's why so many fail I guess. xxx

Sid Brechin said...

Let's look at what the word Romance originally meant. A work of fiction. The old word for a novel was a Romance. Somehow that changed over time as we had a selection of types of fiction. Now it has come to mean a love story. Was somehow always seen at to be a work of fiction.

Romance isn't the same everywhere and to every one. Different things are seen as romantic in different cultures and even different folks within the same culture.

I know girls who don't like flowers usually because they die. Some who don't like poetry. Never met one who didn't like jewelry. However that's never a good idea on a first date.


Wow hun, intense but true:) The ones who stay at there own peril have normally little control over the issue. Because their partners are controlling and possessive the women lose identity sense of self, are disempowered and mostly fearful.

Many who haven't been through it have little comprehension and judgement for the woman. Which in turn disempowers her even more and pushes her deeper into a trap through perceived rejection.


Odette said...

Tracey, Sid, Kirst,
So it will, always remain a mystery,huh? Something science will never fully crack...
have a nice weekend!

Angry American said...

I've never wondered how love works and I'm not gonna start now. I have enough trouble trying to figure out women. Or, should I say cope? Or, should I say please?

Or, maybe I should just STFU now.

Odette said...

women are just at a lost understanding men!!!

Mimi said...

I have friends that have been married multiple times, yet never give up on the idea of romance or love. Some are men, some are women. I admire people with romantic outlooks, they seem to believe that their next love will be the one that makes everything right.


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