First Love Thrills.

I felt like a giddy teenager the other day! You see, I am not aware that I had a secret admirer when I was in high school. The guy who is happily married now, had told me this and we kind of laugh about it.

First love... Wow, they make us do things we don’t normally do, like in his case, standing in a street corner waiting to get a glimpse of me. Or, telling his friends how in love he is, hoping that they will tell because he doesn’t have the nerve to do it himself! I wonder if he had written my name in his notebook, and stared aimlessly at it.

But, one thing is certain. After our talk, memories of my first love came flooding my mind. I also realized that just because I don't think about it, doesn't mean I have forgotten. Like when being near that special someone was the focus of my whole life. I can still remember the way I felt the first time our eyes met. Or the anticipation I felt, hoping my first love felt the same way about me. Or the rush of excitement the first time we held hands and exchanged smiles.

And being attracted to someone also has become a turning point for me as my appearance has become a matter of extreme importance. My taste in clothes began to change along with personal hygiene. Indeed, experiencing love for the very first time has changed my whole attitude and I become more sensitive to the feelings of others. Some, call it puppy-love and consider it youthful infatuation. Oh, call it what you will, but the feelings are intense and can stay with me for the rest of my life.

But what if you saw that person after a long, long time and you realized that the feeling is still burning inside your heart? Is it actually love, or just a memory of the feeling that had been left behind?

Yes, it's lovely to look back and remember the person who taught you about hiding love notes in pockets and stealing glances. It can certainly bring warmth to our heart, remembering how innocent and beautiful those feelings were. There will probably always be a place in our heart for that person, because their remembered self is as much a part of us as we are a part of them.

But that isn't love, its nostalgia. It lends a power and a glow to something that we are glad we have experienced.

How about you? Do you still remember the first person who made your knees go weak? Made your heart flutter at the very sight of them? The one who left you speechless, breathless and starry-eyed?

The first is always the hardest.

So ok, this post will be the first after the blogsary. Of course, I'm so thrilled to be here and have an opportunity to blog and share a little about my thoughts and life. Actually, I tried to think of something that would define the person I am for those of you who have never met me. But it's so hard to put my life in a capsule called a blog post and keep it short and interesting.


The thing is, I use to have a sense of adventure. I love to travel and see new sights and meet people. I think getting old had softened some of the edges. The closest I come to an adventure now is mixing chemicals in the lab or listen to couples squabbling in my neighborhood. Sometimes I’m tempted to join in and lash out at them just for the sheer catharsis of it.

And hey, did it also somewhat boggles your mind that “malling” is an actual verb? Where I grew up, there were no department store. Sometimes it’s hard to imagine what life was then before malling became the national pastime. Where did we get our stuff? From the market, of course!

When I was in high school, there were three main cool criteria: the right clothes, the right music, the right friends.

Now there should be a checklist:
. Please tick which features your cell phone has ( multi-pixel, video recording, we browsing).
. Aside fro the mandatory cell phone, which gadget do you own ( MP3 player. Nano iPod, digicam, video console)
. What kind of MP# player do you own?

And so on…

Even the realm of vice is hard to figure out. When I was an adolescent, there was one kind of San Miguel beer. Now there are more than a dozen to choose from, over and above all sorts of spirit – not to mention the numerous permutation that can be formed with rum and gin. If one wanted to become a druggie in my time, there was pot. If you have lots of money, there’s coke. Now, there’s a whole smorgasbord of drugs out there, each designed for a specific kind of trip. What to choose, what to choose? But of course I haven't tried any of those stuff.

I know that we get disappointed with the kids of today, but how can they not be, when they have to sort all this out in their personal lives?

Well as an adult this is all I want to do – to laugh often and much, to endure the betrayal of false friends, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child or a garden patch.

What are yours?

Yesterday once more.

It's hard to believe how quickly time passes when you're doing something that you enjoy. I still remember writing the first post and panicking as I hit the post button, having no idea what I was about to embark on or that 12 months later, I'd still be doing this.

Wow, imagine I’ve been blogging for a year already! It’s been such an amazing journey and I got to know so many great people and wonderful bloggers, all of whom, I consider to be friends.

I’m really grateful to all of you who visit my blog, read and comment. This blog wouldn’t be the same without you and I hope you’ll continue to visit, just because.

Hey guys, thank you for your continued support and encouragement. Here's to another year of blogging.

Cheers!

Another lemonade award.

I got another lemonade award from good friend Tracey. This is to celebrate the ability to "see the blessings where they're not obvious, and making lemonade instead of complaining about sour lemons"!

I know I have over a hundred things that I am grateful for, but I am required to name just a few, so here goes...

That I have loved and been loved totally.

That I face up to hard things in my life.

That I am healthy.

That my kids are able to go to school

That I’ve cried my heart out, and I’ve laughed so hard I could hardly breathe.

That I live in a safe area, and that my family is alive and well after the storm.

I am passing this award to Kirst, Joey, Rattles, Mimi, Bren, Sid, fellow bloggers who has great attitude and show gratitude by inspiring others. You see, their blog had touched me in a certain way, and had broaden my view of the world and inspires my action.

Go guys, get your award and pass it on to five other bloggers!

Don't change just because...

Just a short note in reaction to Kirst’s post , and how she had to explain herself to someone who left a comment in her blog. You see, what I love about reading blogs aside from gaining friends in the process, is the diversity of ideas and opinions.

We are all different. It is that simple... each and every one of us is different. We have always been different, we will always be different. But in our little blog community, we have come to accept the differences with patience, tolerance and understanding.

I strongly believe that our diversity is the very reason that we exist as individuals. We exist to be different. We move in different society, encounter different situations that may need a different approach, etc. I have come to accept this fact. As within this diversity, with all of our individual opinions, and with all of our individual needs, there is a common center that we all share, regardless of nationality, or race or religion... and that is, love.

By sharing with me your life, your fears, your aspirations through your blogs we are able to rise above all our differences and distinctions with our understanding, patience and love. It is through reading your posts that I get to know about your life, your joys, and sufferings. I see a new world through your eyes.

No one is right or wrong here, we are just different, and I, for one, enjoy learning a new point of view from all of you.

So to all of you my blog mates, particularly Kirst: Don't change just because someone has a difference of opinion, ok?

Waaaater!

By now you all know that my country received a large volumes of rainfall to the extent that 80% of Manila is submerge in water. In fact La Mesa dam had to open its flood gates to release excess water from the dam since it was feared that the water could end up damaging the reservoir if not released.

However, there is nary a drop of water running in our faucet for 6 days now. Probably pipe lines were damaged by the flood. So imagine a day without water. I end up brushing my teeth in the morning with toothpaste and saliva (No rinsing!). No shower, no bath, no washing my face. No flushing the toilet. No coffee or tea.

I even have to take a bathe at the office, and thankfully the plant has its own water purifier, therefore I was able to bring home drinking water everyday. You see the lack of running water meant bathing in “bucket baths” (sitting in a bathroom floor with a bucket of water and bathing oneself). Since classes are cancelled, my boys spend hours on end queuing for the precious liquid at places where it is available.

Of course, I am dismayed that we do not have immediate water coming out of our faucet. And when at the middle of the day you see dishes piling up in the sink, you just want to scream. We however understand that this is temporary and that this is but just a little inconvenience that we would have to learn to do or do without - running water among them.

After learning techniques of conserving the little water we have, we found out that it really isn't as difficult as we thought it would be.

I felt confident in our new skills — we learned and adapted, and could adapt again.

Thank you all.

I would like to thank everyone of you who had left a comment and even those who didn't, but I know had been concerned over my family and the tragedy that we Filipinos are facing right now.

You see, the scale of devastation here in Manila is still difficult to describe. Just imagine that almost 80 percent of Metro Manila was under water. And yet for most of us watching in horror, the typhoon tragedy will be remembered for some particular images - of desperate men and women balancing on electricity cables to avoid the chest-deep water below, of cars pulled every which way by raging floodwaters like mere toys, of celebreties stranded on there rooftop - fame and fortune providing no defense against the elements.

You see, the streets of Manila after the storm is like a war zone, with abandoned vehicles littering the streets and mud and debris lying everywhere. The very reason I told myself why my son could not come home yet. But it's very difficult when all I have is "maybe" because there was nary a word form him. I didn't realize that all the while he was also trying to call me or send messages, but then our communication lines are down. He and the rest of the students where holed up in their school. The school officials didn't allow anyone to leave. But the next day, Sunday, they were allowed to go home because the storm had passed. When my son finally reached home after three days, he was shaking and very hungry. He hadn't eaten for days! But as far as I am concerned, our family is complete.

At the moment, everything is right in my world.

However, radio and TV reports are filled with accounts of the flooding in different parts of the metropolis, with dramatic footage of rescues, frantic evacuations, and people spending long cold nights, wet, hungry and desperately wondering how soon relief would come.

There are also tales of heroism and courage, tragedy and loss. Even the plain survival will be told and re-told in the days to come. Yes, I know we have been tested by water and beleaguered by mud. But I have learned the really important lessons in life - my family are still alive and still together. There is gloom everywhere, but at least we faced a new morning together.

The picture above shows the sun rising over Manila.

In silence, I prayed for every family who is suffering, thanking them in part for teaching me how much I still have.