Monday, March 15, 2010

I love you.

When was the last time someone told you “I love you.”?

Oh, I can easily recalled when, and it was just yesterday afternoon and it was just what I needed to hear.

No, it did not come from Mr. J, and I don’t expect to hear such words from him. Neither could I utter the same words to him.

Ok, brace yourself Randy because this is another of those "negative" post, hahaha.

You see, when I got married, I was "in love", so to speak. But that only gets me so far in real life. Having married relatively soon after I began dating Mr J, I had not had a chance to developed that enduring, active love that gets me through the hard times. And boy, how they came, as they always do! And I was totally unprepared to meet them and overcome them together. Instead, we withdrew from each other during the most difficult times.

With three kids and a jobless husband, life has become very challenging for me. I focused my energy and attention in keeping the family afloat while he hit the bottle. I certainly had no idea what to do with him. When we needed each other the most, we each found ourselves alone.

We went on that way for quite some time, living completely separate lives under the same roof. We barely spoke and when we did, it couldn't have been more surface and bland. The "I love yous" turned into obligatory words, said as infrequently as possible. Eventually, it was like pulling teeth to get one out of me. We became more like strangers to one another than husband and wife. In fact, we really didn't even much like each other, let alone have any of the "in love" feelings or the love we had then never developed at all.

It came at a point where I couldn't keep running away. I have two options. I could give up on him and end the marriage or put in time and hard work to rebuild the relationship. I chose the former. And I couldn’t feel more relieved.

Today, there are multiple people in my life that I love in similar and different ways - as friends, family, lover and I try to tell each of them how I feel. The L word has become less frightening as I find it easy to say maybe because I’ve become more appreciative of my own ability to love. I’ve also come to recognize that feeling love for someone is a wonderful thing and that the people I love are very precious.

How about you, when was the last time you say I love you to someone or heard someone say the L words to you?


Tracey said...

That's a big step in the right direction! (going public) I've been telling you for months to ditch the good for nothing git. You are now free to go and do what YOU want. Enjoy careful.
love ya! xxx

amna said...

if we open our eyes and minds then we would notice that there's so much love everywhere, though we had lost an awful one. first i started loving everything about me, learned to appreciate things and people I've taken for granted,my expectations and criterias are narrowed-in to just simple wants and needs.that almost mr. perfect i always long to meet is no longer in my visions but just the simple, honest and loving dream boat, i found it easy to grasp and be truly happy again with his love. He seldoms utter the word I love you but I can see it clearly written all over his face and gestures. My ex used to tell me I love you every single hour but how many of us he loved at a time? I can no longer be fooled with this sweet talk "I love you", it's the action that counts.

Odette said...

it's not that easy because divorce is not allowed in my country. yes, i am being careful because i don't want to make the same mistake again...

Odette said...

hey, the Sinigayan festival was on tv this morning and i am so excited to go home!
anyway, it's so difficult to find mr right. everyone is different and everyone wants different things. it is hard to find someone who tics every boxes. so i had stopped looking for him - instead i let him find me.
i am so happy for you!!!

Angry American said...

Somebody told me "I love you" about the same time somebody told Odette "I love you". What a coincidence no? <:o

Sid Brechin said...

I say it every day and get a tail wag in return.

Chicken Boys said...

I don't find that negative at all. Mike's job tends to be seasonal. And with the economy, it's been tough. But he keeps the laundry up, cooks dinner, feeds the chickens, does all the house work. That's the least he could have done for you. I don't excuse myself. I help out in the evenings and on weekends, but his being productive is key. When I was in the army I often had to "take care of myself" with any issues that came up. That buddy system worked great, but really only with lower ranks. I soon learned that I had to look out for #1, cause no one else was. The US Army says "You make them strong, we'll make them army strong". So, you gotta be army strong! I say...You go girl!

P.S. I said "I love you" this morning.


Well with no partner and been single for many years I haven't heard it in the romantic sense.Or from a parent.

My daughter and I say it all the time, I tell my sons I love them as they leave, or just whenever.

You need to say I love you to yourself, loving you comes first :)

I can easily tell friends I love them and mean it, my animals hear it also.
I love ya and your doing the right thing.

Angry American said...

I swear to god Kirst, I'll never be able to read your user name without seeing "MEDICALBOOBS". Sometimes it sucks having chronic perverted dyslexia. 8)=

bad penny said...

Oh my God Blogger is leting me comment - I haven't ben able to see your posts let alone comment recently.

Hubby & I were together two years before we married so I guess we knew each other pretty well by then. He said the L word first - we don't say it enough these days but still do sometimes.
It's my son who tells me it a lot with no embarrassement ( he is 14 ) & I love him all the more for it

Chicken Boys said...

If you wanna play along, I tagged you. If not, that's cool, too!

Mimi said...

Hi Odette,
I guess that my house is "I love you central."
I hope that you will be happy in your future relationships, and I second Tracey-have fun but- be careful!
Hugs, Mimi

Kendra Logan said...

The last person to say it to me/I said it to was my "brother" :) A guy that I'm really close to.



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