There was one time, fairly recently, when I pretty much decided to just stay in bed for the rest of my life. Nothing seemed urgent enough for me to have to get up and dress for.
Thinking about it, this didn’t happen because nothing was urgent enough. No, quite the opposite, actually. I think too many things were too urgent so that my system just upped and decided to go AWOL. I know this is a bit weird, because I am just a lowly plant employee. It’s not like the fate of the Philippine economy depends on me or anything. I know there shouldn’t be that much pressure on me who’s main duty in life consists of formulating lubricants for diesel and gasoline engines.
And yet, there I was. And I think it’s not an experience unique to me. I admit to having thought that I am living life in anticipation of going from one heart-stopping moment to another. After about four decades of being here, I have realized that it generally doesn’t work that way.
I blame Hollywood for that expectation or my habit of watching a movie marathon on weekends. Why shouldn’t I, when in the span of a feature film, people are born and they die. They get married and have kids, get into gangs wars and in and out of jail. I’ve seen movies where, within the film, a whole novel is finished in two hours tops, while it takes me a day just to write a blog – and that’s when I’m on a roll!
So here I am now waiting for the big cheesy Hollywood moment.
The big drama.
The great bow with an auditorium full of people cheering me on, or at the very least, somebody looking adoringly at me for saving their lives. I sometimes wish I get theme music as I walk down the streets of Manila. And, why don’t I randomly run into some stranger with a striking resemblance to Hugh Jackman who’ll magically fall in love with me?
I don’t get the big moments often and maybe this makes me sometimes decide to stay in bed for the rest of my life.
Not healthy.
I know things don’t always follow Hollywood logic, although sometimes they strangely do, and I certainly don’t look like a Hollywood personality. I am aware though that every now and then my sense of reality should be screwed off, vacuumed, and screwed back on.
Stop laughing, will you?
8 comments:
Hollywood has a lot to answer for - instilling us with unrealistic ideas of how the rest of the world lives. Reality is we all do the same things, just in various ways and a priveleged few get a better deal. Or they appear to - money and fame do not always make them happier!
Earlier I had a prob posting on your last post. hey are both brilliant. Your beautiful and dont need clothes:) damn that read wrong i mean you dont need the glam:)
xoxoxo
I could use a little more excitement in my life but, I don't need any more drama. As for my sense of reality, I have a few screws loose, and I'm pretty sure there's already a vaccum between my ears.
Kirst,
Actually AA was asking if I am ok, coz he found my posts weird, hahaha. I told him i am PMSing! And he shuts up and tiptoed away slowly...
xoxoxo
I've discovered that life is what you make of it. I battled a bout of depression in my early 20's that nearly drove me insane. None of my friends understood and brushed it off. But I have done some wonderful things since then. I have traveled to South America, Africa, Asia, and Europe since then. And it was mostly on someone else's dime!! I traveled to Florida 8 hours from home for two weeks with only 120 American dollars with all paid by the U.S. Army. I have a hum drum job in accounting that's not glamorous. I own two vehicles, the newest is 16 years old. But I enjoy my screwed up little garden and crazy overloaded amount of chickens. I visit my parents every couple of weeks (1 1/2 hours away). And when money permits I do little things I'd like to do around the house. My life ain't the greatest. I'm no Brad Pitt, but I do what I like as best I can, and learn to like what I have to do!!
why do you always manage to write great posts? almost everyday is a different and intersting one! xox
Randy,
Thank you for sharing your life to us. Wow, i would love to be able to travel with someone footing the bill!
I am not dissatisfied with my life, but there are some instances when i wish i can go out in the world and do life-changing things. But when thinking about it, what life am i after for? I know i should have spent pondering upon all those hours i have spent in bed, but as far as i am concerned, the question still remains unanswered. Ha ha ha!
xoxoxoxo
Hollywood..yeah, I've been there, literally, but real life is so much better than "their life". In their lives children die 99% of the time to make it more "appealing" to the audience. People lose their jobs and are given a new one straight away because that's how "their life" works..I know these things happen in real life too...but sometimes you have to take the good with the bad and just say "This is my life and I love it"
Hope you're doing okay
xxx
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