My Homecoming Trip - part 4.

Yes, I saved the best for last. My family.

Throughout the years my family have grown with all sorts of personalities, which make every get-together fun, interesting, and memorable.

But first, let me set the tone of this monologue by thanking my husband Ken who gave me the gift of “coming home”. To my cousin Celerina from the moment she picked me up from the airport in Texas, to the moment we said goodbye to head off to our own families in Sagay.
So here goes...


Insomnia in Delta Flight 172. Houston to Detroit to Tokyo to Manila. Sixteen hours at just under the speed of sound. I was going back to the Philippines after three years and my old brain just wouldn't shut down.

It was Friday evening, when we began our final descent. I know right away I was back to my birth country because humidity there has a presence. It closed in on me, weighed me down and made me sleepy. It made me want to rip off my clothes because why the heck do I still have my jacket on? You see, the Philippines is a country of scant attire, where sweat from dawn to dusk is no disgrace. And take note that it was winter in Minnesota when I left, and my body was still in hibernation mode. And now… I’m in Manila. My body was in panic. But I know, I will get use to it gradually, or would I?


Anyway, shrieks of excitement and joy echoed throughout the house as I entered. It was a delight to see everyone. My two boys, my daughter-in-law, my grand daughter, my aunties and uncles, and cousins... just everybody! It would be unfair to mention any single one, as each face that I beheld brought back wonderful detailed memories that only face-to-face encounters could bring in stark relief. If you have been away from loved ones for quite sometime and had come home to visit, you know what I mean.


I was overjoyed to see them although secretly I was back in panic mode because the balikbayan box I had sent home while I was still in the US did not arrive on time. Inside that box are “pasalubong” to my kins and friends. FYI, pasalubong or gifts are very popular among us Filipinos. Like all other returnees I know that handing out pasalubong will keep my bond with family and friends or someone who has close relationship with me as it conveyed that they are being remembered while I am away. Pasalubong can be anything, such as shirts, novelty items, chocolates, jewelries, electronics, or toys among others. I would hand them out not wrapped and give to someone as it is.


But then I am prepared to give everything that I brought home away (except my Ipod and my mini-Ipad, Lol.) It is a gesture of love that I can give away anything requested by a family member. Besides I can usually replace it when I return to my adopted homeland, and relatives or friends usually covet something worn or used by a balikbayan. I know that I will almost surely fill my suitcase with new items and things I want to bring back to the US, so I won’t miss my old things so much.


Every week I was there were marked with different activities I did with relatives. There's birthday, graduation, and lots of get-together parties. The fact that other relatives living and working abroad also came home, made our reunion more meaningful. There were tales to tell, jokes to share, accomplishments to recognize and problems to address. All these made us closer to one another. I would wake up each day excited to know what new things will reveal to me as I begin to rediscover my kins. I again find myself belonging to a place after years of thinking that I really weren't from anywhere. I find myself so at home and secure there and felt such deep love for people and sights and smells. When I arrived back in the States I was shocked, even though it is all familiar, at how very different these two worlds are.


Today marks 5 weeks since I returned from the Philippines. The trip home was exhausting in every way possible.  When I was going, I had so much excitement and adrenaline coursing through me, but on the way back, I had only intense sadness and weariness. If Ken and Cedric had not been waiting for me here and if I did not need to see them so badly, I would not have gotten onto the plane.


I feel so much better now, but still can feel the effects of traveling half way around the world and back in 20 days.

Thank you for following the series.

My Homecoming Trip - part 3

If you have read my previous posts, you know I was about to set off to my high school reunion.  The upcoming event had been looming on the calendar for months and with each new day that brought me closer to it, my excitement grew.

My enthusiasm for class reunions and everything that comes with it is at the same level as it was when I first attended it. I still consider it a display of pride for our school. It is three days of reconnecting with my fellow students, mentors and to my Sagay roots. I am surrounded by a sea of familiar and not-so-familiar-faces-anymore, and even as a repeat attendee, I was definitely awestruck by the whole ordeal. Just the number of people itself is enough to overwhelm and excite me.

The school's quadrangle was surrounded with booths, each one with banners announcing the year the batch graduated. Our class don a light purple shirt that me and Ann had donated and designed, others had green, blue, red, orange, white and many more which gave the venue a burst of color. We wore a blazing orange the nextday that our classmte Ginnie had provided us with.


I believe our graduating class was special since most of us had known each other from elementary school. So you are right to think that in many ways, it was a reunion like no other. I came, I satisfied my curiosity about old friends and classmates. I hugged each one of them, I laughed with them, and oh how I tried to squeeze the happenings of the last 35 years into brief snippets of conversation before I would rocket on to the next group of long lost pals. By the end of the day, my voice got worst but I still managed to give a long howl to cheer our classmate who competed in the beauty contest.


In our first reunion, I was certain we will live forever. On our 35th I know we won't. Conversations does normally drift to those classmates who have died or dying. Even classmates who are most likely to succeed have lost something – hair, a waistline, a marriage, a job, a spouse, a child, a fortune. Others on the other hand gained something – 50 pounds, a son or daughter-in-law, an illness, an ego. These things actually made me humble and wadya know, most people are nice at 50 than they were at 15. One comment I heard later was that people who hadn't really spoken to one another in high school had ended up in some great conversations. How often does that happen anymore? I just wished we have included a candle-lighting ceremony for more than a dozen classmates who had passed away.


In the company of my friends and classmates, it seems that time slows down and recedes. I felt like a teenager again, laughing and talking till evening unmindful of the summer heat. Except for one, all of my best friends in high school were there hence, that made this home coming very special. Because despite the miles between us, or the time that elapses between visits, these are the people who knew me almost as well as I know myself. Their gift of friendship and laughter never fails to lighten my soul.  I don’t need an old house to remind me what “home” means to me, I find it in my friends- most especially in Ann, Nancy, Zenette, Ping, & Ruby.




I am proud to say that our class now has a fantastic Facebook page, which I created. Ahem, ahem. And we are still connecting, posting pictures and sharing – not just memories of the past, but who we are today.

Part 4: The family.

My Homecoming Trip - part 2

It would be easier for me to recall events of my travel if I cronicled them by stages as they happen. So I am sharing my next big event and talk about the alumni homecoming in my next post.

On my 2nd day, as I try to settle to the vibe of home I find some things not quite the same as when I left them. Foremost is how expensive everything had become. The new peso bills look a bit play money-ish since the color is more vibrant but not quite crisp and by golly, they’re not worth very much anymore.

I cannot believe that I can't seem to spend less than P1,000 for a decent meal for three anymore. A pair of a nice looking sandal for a toddler cost more than the meal we just had, a 15 minute drive in a taxi cost at least P100 and giving the same amount as gift to a relative raises eyebrows all around. So, the initial euphoria I felt about being, wow, part of the faux prosperous quickly dissipated into “how am I gonna stretch my Mickey Mouse bills till I leave”?

One of my purpose in coming home is to get a denture maintenance appointment in Bacolod that would otherwise cost an arm and a leg here in the US. I may show off a nice smile in my pictures if you had seen them, but honestly, I had been needing major overhauling of my incisors and molars long before I came here and the long wait had turned my molar mangled out of commission, and some front teeth chipped almost beyond recognition. Besides that, I’d been forever suffering from overworking one side of my jaw muscles because of a sad lack of personnel on the “weak” side, and I needed porcelain reinforcements. Plus I have a class reunion to attend which make the appointment A MUST.

So on my second day, me and my sister went to see the dentist. The stark difference between here and getting services there is that you simply walk -in and be certain to get attended to right away. I was glad that the dentist was ultra-smooth and personable. Even with the impressive sounding quotation for the dentures, it was still not even a quarter of what it might cost here, but of course, I didn’t tell Doc that. Although I had an idea she already knows it. In fact, my bank account challenged son had to pay the same amount for having two of his tooth pulled here in the US. And he had to go through several appointments before he could get it done while my pretty Filipina dentist had it all done in one day - cleaning, filling, extraction, and new denture. Magic!

Indeed, it was a huge help having it done by a fellow Ilongo and the newer denture technology didn’t hurt either.

Now, I am ready to meet my classmates!

My Homecoming Trip - part 1

I am back!!!

Actually, for over 3 weeks now. (Smiling sheepishly)

You see, I kept putting off writing this blog. Not so much because I was busy, but because I am overwhelmed with so many things I want to share with you about my travel to my birth country - Philippines.

There are just so much stuff I want to talk here and pictures I want to share that I decided to write this in parts. So here goes...

Okay, let me start by telling you the one universal truth about this topic. That coming home is without a doubt an emotional exercise. Therefore it was no surprise when the physical and cultural shock assaulted me almost as soon as I disembarked from my Delta flight in Seattle. First, because the temperature has dipped dramatically. The air is no longer dusty and humidity was non-existent. Gone too were the ever present wall-to-wall humanity and scattered garbage. Everything looks spacious and neat. Yet, I felt a pang of sadness for having left the chaos and the hot summer sun of the Philippines.

This sounds like it doesn’t need to be said, but I’m saying it anyway. This trip is different from the ones I had before for so many reasons. Mainly because I was able to join the Balik Sagay celebration. Under the Balik Sagay program, now on its 4th year, we returning Sagaynons were treated to a VIP welcome that included a barrio fiesta lunch at our Kauswagan building complete with folk dances presentation. Our city Mayor and Governor were there to welcome us.


I also joined the walkathon which started from the Kauswagan and ended at our town plaza. The walk allowed me to interact with fellow returnees as we talk about life abroad and what-not while trying to take in the new sights of Sagay as we walk towards the finish line. There were native delicacies and drinks laid before us when we got to the plaza to quench out thirst and hunger. And there were dancing too which I participated with glee.


Then, there was the out-reach activity. Balik Sagay organizer had asked donations from Sagaynons residing abroad which was spent to buy food give-aways for the less fortunate families in our city and other meaningful projects such as public toilets. I was in the forefront of this activity as I did an impromptu hosting of the said event.


The evening brought me back to our town plaza, this time to watch the Mr and Ms Sinigayan Festival. It was such a delightful presentation complete with very artistic and colorful costumes and dances. I was asked to be one of the presentor for the award, but I have to beg off because me and the mayor and some friends had an earlier agreement to go to Taliambong. Another venue where people come to chill out by listening to live bands while enjoying drinks and food which can be bought from a variety of kiosk surrounding the place. We intended to reunite with other SYC member but we couldn't find any in the said place so we decided to go to the Ratsada venue hoping to meet some of them there. Of course, the excitement of coming home makes me want to do a lot of catching up with friends. My vacation is about reconnecting with the people closest to my heart. But well, we were unlucky. There were so many people dancing in the street and it was so hot, we opted to stay in an air conditioned tent. After a little while I decided to call it a day.


All these activities occurred in my first day in Sagay. Just imagine the excitement I am experiencing! I felt like I always wanted to spend my every waking moment meeting friends and relatives I haven’t met for years and years. I wanted to taste every dish I missed and take in as much info about the on-goings in my town as I could. My only woe is that my hometown IS and ALWAYS will be a summer town all year round, where you could count on the sun doing a command performance 364 days of 365, where you could hang your laundry for a couple of hours and bring it down bone-dry, and where shorts, sleeveless and sandals are sensible wear and where the two local seasons are sunny and sunnier. I drank my water with lots of ice thus I ended up with a hoarse voice on my first day.

Indeed, when it’s a homecoming, you take the good with the bad.

Next stop: my high school reunion. Stay tuned

Ready. Set. GO!

I went to my high school reunion ten years ago. What a blast from the past.

It was quite an experience as it was wonderful to see everyone again. Literally, everyone. From the school's first alumni, or at least those still living from that batch, to the very recent graduates, which would be the most populated batch. Of course!

Our Alma mater have been having these reunions every five years. I have not had the opportunity to attend all of them, but the few times I was there I was genuinely happy I took the time to attend this gathering.

Now, as the date of our next reunion approaches I find myself very excited and wishing it was already here. Having graduated High School in 1979, you would think that the memories and images which I experienced at that time would have faded with the passage of time, and yet, they seem to live with me forever. There are still people whom I remember fondly. Teachers and mentors from my youth who had a lasting effect on me.

It's been over 3 decades since I have seen or talked to some of my classmates so it’s a stretch of the imagination to visualize our group of senior men and women gathered around our assigned booth, none of us young anymore. I could see older mature people I may not recognize or visualize them as they looked the way I remember them years ago.

Reconnecting with these high school friends is nice for many reasons. Everything about high school is bigger than life. Even 35 years later, high school still remains fresh in my mind. I truly cared about my friends because together we survived the high school years. Besides, these friends were not just acquaintances, but people I really liked and cared about. Their welfare were important to me, just as mine was to them. Reconnecting with my high school friends is nice because even if it seemed like forever, the caring is still there.

Our class reunion is coming up next month. I will fly back to the Philippines to be there.

High School... when I think life will always be just like it was - fun and carefree. Where I survived the break up with what I perceived to be the true love of my life and the occasional fights with my best friends. Where I endured the homework and the tests. Where I looked forward to summer vacation, and then become anxious for school to start again in June. Where reliving those four years assured me that life was never more fun or easier than going to high school in a small town in Negros island.

High School... a time in my life where I made great memories and friendships, some which have lasted into my golden years. A period in time when growing up in Sagay was meant to be the best years of my life.

And it was.

My father. His story.

February 8 will always be a significant date for me.

It is the day I and Ken got married, and the day my father died.

My father had been sick for a long time. He began showing symptoms years ago that was eventually diagnosed as colon cancer. A strong man, who rarely complained, my father hung on and never let on that it was as bad or as painful as we all knew it really was. As his symptoms increased, he quickly grew older right in front of my eyes, each time I went to visit him. But then I moved farther and farther away from my father, as I followed my own path into life. When I came to the US our only means of communication is through phone. But he became so frail that he cannot even stay long on the phone. Eventually it was only me talking and him listening.

When I heard the phone ring the afternoon after my wedding, I knew even before I looked at the caller ID, that it was my sister. With a shaky, breathy voice, I heard her say quietly, "Dette, he's gone." Silent tears rolled down my face. I stared out the window into our backyard full of snow, and half expected to see my dad out there, waving to me - as he passed into the next life.

When I put the phone down, there were already hot tears rolling down my cheeks. I yearned to be back home, to be with family, to be near my father's remain. But travel is out of the picture at that time as it was not conceivable.

On the day he is to be buried, I got a call from my sister asking me to write a eulogy for my father that they will read during the funeral mass. I just got home from work, and I have only an hour to write it, send it through email, and have them print it before the mass starts. My mind was running wild. Where and how do I start? My father's life is a story, a unique story that nobody ever lived before and no one will ever live again. I wish it would go on forever, but I understand that even the best stories has to end. It would be a strange story if it did go on forever. So instead of grieving that it has to end, I feel blessed and lucky enough to have been a part of it.

Memories of my dad flashed before my eyes. The father as I saw him when I was growing up and the life he lived parallel to mine. His amazing life story ultimately gave me an inspiration to write his eulogy. And like a story, I understood him better as I get closer to the end. I came to understand the significant of something that happened back in chapter 1 and 3. It was not a perfect story, as the plots were not effectively developed or structured. It wasn't meant to entertain but it has beginning, a middle and an end.

Thank you Papang for your story.

One that will continue to inspire me.

One which pages I memorized from the heart.

A none traditional anniversary gift.

This coming Friday, my husband and I will celebrate our second wedding anniversary. I felt that we truly have a lot to celebrate with our marriage because it has become a union of two companions working towards a common goal. We see each new day together as a blessing. We are glad that we have found our soul mates.

I have never been one who needed a bunch of personal stuff to know that I am loved. I do better with simple gestures that have no monetary value. My love doesn't cost anything. My husband however like to shower me with gifts. Things that he knew I would love to have, but would not dream of buying because they are just way too expensive to a scrooge like me. He gave me two wonderful gifts this Christmas. Last month he bought me a round trip ticket to Manila so I can visit my family there.

I simply can not compete with that. Whatever little I earn from working I send to my two other boys in the Philippines to support them. Both are still in college. But I want so very much to give my husband a gift for our coming anniversary.

However, I am stumped on what to give him as gift for this occasion. I know that what I choose to give to him will be a reflection of my feelings for him and my desire to please him. This thought alone pretty much stress me out. What can I give to someone who can get anything he wants?

So okay, he love tools! But he seemed to have all the conceivable tools there is. His shop is full of it. He doesn't need a new wallet - he actually never use one. Oh yes, he is into motorcycles since he owns a Harley, but then again, he is not the leather wearing type and neither am I. He do not like modern technology gadgets. He has a laptop computer which he sparingly use. He do not like smart phones and is more comfortable with the old one he is using. I have tried buying him clothes before, but he told me to stop, because nothing I bought fits him.

But he love cars. He like driving around and I also like riding with him around the countryside. He would upgrade his car every two years. But the thing with the new models, they have everything in it - built in GPS, sync system, Wi-Fi feature, Sirius channel that streams his 60's songs. There is practically nothing more he would need for his new car!

Or is there? Maybe things that will help organize the stuff he carry with him inside the car? I have been complaining about the blinding sun rays in the passenger side, and when we shop, there ain't enough room to put our plastic bags. So, I check out Amazon.com and found some interesting stuff. I bought them online, and they arrived yesterday.

Yehey!

All I need to do now is to put them in a nice box with a nicely written card and I am ready for our anniversary day.

We haven't made a plan yet on what we will do this Friday. I have no work that day, so we could either go out to eat or I can cook a special meal for us. I know there is no wrong way to celebrate our anniversary as long as we are together and happy. Being together means a lot. I know my husband is devoted because he stays by my side. No matter what, he remains steadfast.

He does not just say he will be there. He is.

To me, that is the best present of all.