On who's boundaries?

I was so shocked the other night when an American channel reported about the plight of a teenage boy who was set on fire by four other teenagers, one of which is only thirteen years old. They had doused the poor victim with rubbing alcohol then set him on fire. Wow, has bullying gone this far? Or is it a form of teenage angst?

After watching the news I had kept asking myself: Why is being a teenager nowadays a lot difficult? It seems that along with the extra hair, the vocal changes, and intensifying odor, teenage angst is now a part of growing up. We parents know that our boys are going through physical transformation between thirteen and nineteen years old. They have acne, body odor, hair all over the place, they are awkward, confused, and insecure. They have hormones racing through their bodies like a Nascar driver without a speed limiter.

Then, there is peer pressure which is responsible for our teens rebellion. The boys especially, are particularly susceptible to these issues. Teenagers want to feel like a part of the group, and in order to do this, they often find themselves in positions that they don't particularly care for, but follow anyway. In most part they already know the consequence of their action but they do it anyway, because they feel they are in control of the situation and it makes them feel independent from their parents.

It seems that today's society is bringing up children who lack character qualities that were once commonplace. Things such as respect, obedience, and responsibility for self, seem to be in dire shortage. Of course, it is easy to lay all the blame on the little shoulders of the children, but is that the appropriate place for it to be?

Absolutely not!

The problem lies in the shortage of good and effective parents and the outcome is what we see in the children. Even our sitcoms on prime time television are a direct reflection of the lax societal standards that have become acceptable family behaviors. The reasons are primarily due to the ever-increasing stress and fast-paced lifestyles. More money, more "stuff", and more career accomplishments. And the loser are the children who have become more susceptible to outside influences.

Parenting is more difficult in this day and age than at any time in the past. In this age of technology there is instant information at any time. Children are more technologically smarter than ever. But nevertheless, they still need guidance and protection.

And a lot of parents are not providing these essentials.

Of hospitality and tradition.

We live in a cosmopolitan place filled with people who grew up in many different cultures and traditions. Therefore it is not surprising that hospitality and politeness are as varied as the number of countries that make up this world.

From my previous post, some of you had reacted that none will bother to offer help if you find yourself stranded in the road due to car engine failure. Maybe it is because you have been culturally raised to believe that there's a need for introduction before hospitality is extended.

Well, Filipino hospitality is one-of-a-kind. We are ready to offer our service to a stranger anytime. There is even no such thing as an uninvited guest or a bad time to visit. We can visit a home anytime without even calling them or sending then a text message that we are coming. And if we happen to catch the family in an abnormally late lunch, there will be a commotion, not because the timing was bad, but because the mom will stand up from the table to cook an extra pot of rice for the guest. Instantly without qualms, the visitor will be offered lunch. And it will offend them if you decline.

If it happened that the visitor is from a far place, he will be asked to stay for the night. Not having a sleeping clothes will not even suffice as an excuse. The guest will be given the best bed or the best room in the house. In the old days, the visitor is even entitled to the master bedroom even if that means that the master has to sleep on the floor.

On the other hand, I won't be surprised if, even after I have known an English friend reasonably well, I still won't get an invitation to their home. I know that this isn't a slight on me. It is just that English people like to keep their home as their own private space and prefer to meet their friends in more neutral surroundings. But then, Tracey had opened her home to me, so... yipee!

Filipinos on the whole are very friendly and open toward foreigners. Perhaps, there is no country in Southeast Asia where foreigners are so well accepted as in the Philippines. Filipinos even tend to rate foreigners over themselves. Our smile is not politely distant, but spontaneous and from the heart. Filipinos smile all the time. We smile while commuting, we smile at work, we smile in smog-infested traffic, even in an argument, or overthrowing our own President, we SMILE!

Oh, another thing. Our Filipino "YES" can puzzles most westerners. A yes means just that, though it can also mean "maybe" ,"I don't know", or, "If it will please you", OR "I hope I have said it enough for you to understand that I mean NO!". Hahaha.

You see, a Filipino does not like to openly agree or disappoint. Hence, a question by a person seeking a direct answer concerning, for example, the amount of a payment for services rendered will be answer with a smile and words... "It's up to You."

This is the aspect where the net has become equally important. One of the wonderful benefits of the Internet and the global communication is that it allows us, an opportunity to extend to one another an open experience of hospitality and politeness, without restrictions to our individual traditions and cultures. Here, we are able to appreciate the hospitable and polite nature of the mind of the individual.

We are all different, individually, nationally and culturally. Yet we encompass and appreciate those differences, and learn to appreciate the hospitality and politeness extended by our various cultures and countries.

First Love Thrills.

I felt like a giddy teenager the other day! You see, I am not aware that I had a secret admirer when I was in high school. The guy who is happily married now, had told me this and we kind of laugh about it.

First love... Wow, they make us do things we don’t normally do, like in his case, standing in a street corner waiting to get a glimpse of me. Or, telling his friends how in love he is, hoping that they will tell because he doesn’t have the nerve to do it himself! I wonder if he had written my name in his notebook, and stared aimlessly at it.

But, one thing is certain. After our talk, memories of my first love came flooding my mind. I also realized that just because I don't think about it, doesn't mean I have forgotten. Like when being near that special someone was the focus of my whole life. I can still remember the way I felt the first time our eyes met. Or the anticipation I felt, hoping my first love felt the same way about me. Or the rush of excitement the first time we held hands and exchanged smiles.

And being attracted to someone also has become a turning point for me as my appearance has become a matter of extreme importance. My taste in clothes began to change along with personal hygiene. Indeed, experiencing love for the very first time has changed my whole attitude and I become more sensitive to the feelings of others. Some, call it puppy-love and consider it youthful infatuation. Oh, call it what you will, but the feelings are intense and can stay with me for the rest of my life.

But what if you saw that person after a long, long time and you realized that the feeling is still burning inside your heart? Is it actually love, or just a memory of the feeling that had been left behind?

Yes, it's lovely to look back and remember the person who taught you about hiding love notes in pockets and stealing glances. It can certainly bring warmth to our heart, remembering how innocent and beautiful those feelings were. There will probably always be a place in our heart for that person, because their remembered self is as much a part of us as we are a part of them.

But that isn't love, its nostalgia. It lends a power and a glow to something that we are glad we have experienced.

How about you? Do you still remember the first person who made your knees go weak? Made your heart flutter at the very sight of them? The one who left you speechless, breathless and starry-eyed?

The first is always the hardest.

So ok, this post will be the first after the blogsary. Of course, I'm so thrilled to be here and have an opportunity to blog and share a little about my thoughts and life. Actually, I tried to think of something that would define the person I am for those of you who have never met me. But it's so hard to put my life in a capsule called a blog post and keep it short and interesting.


The thing is, I use to have a sense of adventure. I love to travel and see new sights and meet people. I think getting old had softened some of the edges. The closest I come to an adventure now is mixing chemicals in the lab or listen to couples squabbling in my neighborhood. Sometimes I’m tempted to join in and lash out at them just for the sheer catharsis of it.

And hey, did it also somewhat boggles your mind that “malling” is an actual verb? Where I grew up, there were no department store. Sometimes it’s hard to imagine what life was then before malling became the national pastime. Where did we get our stuff? From the market, of course!

When I was in high school, there were three main cool criteria: the right clothes, the right music, the right friends.

Now there should be a checklist:
. Please tick which features your cell phone has ( multi-pixel, video recording, we browsing).
. Aside fro the mandatory cell phone, which gadget do you own ( MP3 player. Nano iPod, digicam, video console)
. What kind of MP# player do you own?

And so on…

Even the realm of vice is hard to figure out. When I was an adolescent, there was one kind of San Miguel beer. Now there are more than a dozen to choose from, over and above all sorts of spirit – not to mention the numerous permutation that can be formed with rum and gin. If one wanted to become a druggie in my time, there was pot. If you have lots of money, there’s coke. Now, there’s a whole smorgasbord of drugs out there, each designed for a specific kind of trip. What to choose, what to choose? But of course I haven't tried any of those stuff.

I know that we get disappointed with the kids of today, but how can they not be, when they have to sort all this out in their personal lives?

Well as an adult this is all I want to do – to laugh often and much, to endure the betrayal of false friends, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child or a garden patch.

What are yours?

Yesterday once more.

It's hard to believe how quickly time passes when you're doing something that you enjoy. I still remember writing the first post and panicking as I hit the post button, having no idea what I was about to embark on or that 12 months later, I'd still be doing this.

Wow, imagine I’ve been blogging for a year already! It’s been such an amazing journey and I got to know so many great people and wonderful bloggers, all of whom, I consider to be friends.

I’m really grateful to all of you who visit my blog, read and comment. This blog wouldn’t be the same without you and I hope you’ll continue to visit, just because.

Hey guys, thank you for your continued support and encouragement. Here's to another year of blogging.

Cheers!

Another lemonade award.

I got another lemonade award from good friend Tracey. This is to celebrate the ability to "see the blessings where they're not obvious, and making lemonade instead of complaining about sour lemons"!

I know I have over a hundred things that I am grateful for, but I am required to name just a few, so here goes...

That I have loved and been loved totally.

That I face up to hard things in my life.

That I am healthy.

That my kids are able to go to school

That I’ve cried my heart out, and I’ve laughed so hard I could hardly breathe.

That I live in a safe area, and that my family is alive and well after the storm.

I am passing this award to Kirst, Joey, Rattles, Mimi, Bren, Sid, fellow bloggers who has great attitude and show gratitude by inspiring others. You see, their blog had touched me in a certain way, and had broaden my view of the world and inspires my action.

Go guys, get your award and pass it on to five other bloggers!

Don't change just because...

Just a short note in reaction to Kirst’s post , and how she had to explain herself to someone who left a comment in her blog. You see, what I love about reading blogs aside from gaining friends in the process, is the diversity of ideas and opinions.

We are all different. It is that simple... each and every one of us is different. We have always been different, we will always be different. But in our little blog community, we have come to accept the differences with patience, tolerance and understanding.

I strongly believe that our diversity is the very reason that we exist as individuals. We exist to be different. We move in different society, encounter different situations that may need a different approach, etc. I have come to accept this fact. As within this diversity, with all of our individual opinions, and with all of our individual needs, there is a common center that we all share, regardless of nationality, or race or religion... and that is, love.

By sharing with me your life, your fears, your aspirations through your blogs we are able to rise above all our differences and distinctions with our understanding, patience and love. It is through reading your posts that I get to know about your life, your joys, and sufferings. I see a new world through your eyes.

No one is right or wrong here, we are just different, and I, for one, enjoy learning a new point of view from all of you.

So to all of you my blog mates, particularly Kirst: Don't change just because someone has a difference of opinion, ok?