A furry of joy.

It has been four weeks now since our cat gave birth to six lovely kittens. For the first week of their life the kittens were confined to a box. Then on the 2nd week Stray decided to move them in the boy’s room, under the bed, and there they nest, mainly sleeping and suckling.

On the third week the mother moved them to my bedroom. Maybe, because there is less chaos there. By this time the kittens eyes had opened and they had started to crawl although they still confine themselves under my bed.

Then suddenly one of them decided to go farther out, and within minutes the rest of the kittens had discovered that the world was slightly bigger and more interesting than the dark corner at the far end of my bed. This fourth week are wonderful days with six kittens causing mayhem and laughter throughout the house.

But we know we have to let go of our kittens save maybe for one or two, because we cannot allow then to take over our little abode. They will be jumping and crawling all over, and leave scratch marks in my couch, curtains and rag, and leave stinking pee anywhere they pleased. I won't allow them to become adorable kitties of mass destruction.

Of course, it wouldn't be easy, but at least we had the chance to witness the magic of birth, to endless laughter and entertainment right down to letting go of the kittens.

I have seen how helpless kittens were dumped from vehicles, Stray being among them, and I heard stories of kittens put in a sack and thrown in a river to drown. That won't happen to my kitties, as they will be moving to loving homes that will take care and nurture them. And as for the mother, she will be spayed to avoid her having endless kittens that would become more and more difficult to home.

Only few days left till we bid them fond farewell, yet until now I am undecided which kitten we let go and which will stay behind. Darn...

Fancy a date?

Last night I was at my neighbor's birthday party. Being the only single woman there I was showered with more attention than I can take. They say I should start dating again and they came up with several names, all of whom I am not familiar with.

Hey guys, I didn't ask to be in my 40s and single, but reality being what it is I live with it. I have my kids, I have my work, I can cook and clean, I have a plan for myself that is better done without a man messing it up. Nah, I don't hate men, I just know what is worth my time and what isn't.

Ok, ok, if I do date I think I would put up a rule. I think I ought to come up with what works for me, keeping the reality of my particular situation in mind.

So here it is...

1. I won't date fat men. If he is walking around looking like he has a beer keg stuffed in his pants, then he don't give a damn about himself, so I really don't expect him to give a damn about me in the long run. If he and I had fallen in love twenty years ago, gotten married and had a family and he had put on the weight, I would still be with him, but we didn't and so I see no need to accommodate his lack of discipline.

2. I don't like a man who would boast about his independence. Being able to take care of himself doesn't make him special, it makes him an adult. Second, if he is that independent, why is he looking for a relationship in the first place? Independence is the opposite of dependence and being able to depend on others is why we get into relationships of any kind in the first place.

3. I wont date a man who is a full time father to his kids.( Of course, I am not optimistic enough to be asked by someone young and was never married.) But I see no need to be a full time mother to someone else's children and a part time mother to my own. Mine have been through enough already, I'm both Mom and Dad to my kids and I feel I am doing what is best for my children, they were here first.

There you go. I know it's short, but that's all I can think of for now.
I have not been dating and maybe never will. But even 40 somethings get lonely at times, some more than others. Well, there are all sorts of reasons people over 40 are single.

Just keep breathing and you might find yourself there some day.

A belly take over.

As a woman, I know how easy it is to gain weight around the stomach. God only knows why it has to go there, but it does, and once you have a little bit, it seems to attract more. Sometimes I just wonder what is this thing that’s been growing around my mid-section since I started college. And now that I am older, it has become a permanent fixture. I am not a voracious eater, I don't even eat breakfast, and I love to skip meal. Yet despite of this, fat builds up around my stomach area, and I can't seem to get rid of it.

No, I am not fat or big. I am not someone who shops at the plus-size department. I never weigh more than 110 lbs, take note that my waistline and my age aren't the same. But my lame attempts to exercise doesn't seem to work at all. .

Then, I stumble upon an article in the news. It says that tummy fat can be use to grow breasts. Say it again.?! Ok, continue reading... "Scientists say they can create a fat mixture with concentrated stem cells, which, when injected into the breast, apparently encourages tissue to grow. And if licensed, it may rival silicone for those seeking bigger breasts."

Wow, so can I just assume that my breast had been misplaced? That instead of growing a little bit up there, it landed in my mid section? Then my mind prickle toward a practical scenario - When I sleep, and if I want to turn or shift, most of the time, I sort of have to double-shift and bring the "stomach boobs" with me, making sure they're not being smooshed or squeezed. Damn, this is funnier than it sounds.

I don't play god. Who will?

Just chillin'.

Phew! so ok... I am stressed from too much thinking, I feel sluggish because I lack sleep and on top of that I feel lousy because things didn't turn out the way I expect them to be. So, how can I chill out so I would feel a lot better and not vent it on the kids when I get home? There are many ways I could think of...

1. Hit the gym. Yeah, I would love to spin and kick and even go to yoga classes to ease the stresses of the day. I love to feel my heart pounding hard and be out of breath till my lungs hurt.
But I don't have a membership in any fitness studio, so scratch that out.

2. Crank up the stereo in the car and belt along with the music as I commute back home.
Nice, except that I don't have a car anymore. I don't drive and going home from the office only takes me 10 minutes on a tricycle.

3. Take a walk on the beach to relax. Feeling the sand between my toes and smelling the salty ocean air would definitely work magic on my sagging mood.
Pretty good. However, I don't live near an ocean. The only sand I see is the sand box where my cat poops.

4. Unwind by taking a hot shower, put on my pajamas, wrap myself up in a cozy blanket with a cup of tea and put on a good movie.
Hmmm... too bad, I don't have a water heater at home, and my cat and her kittens had invaded my bedroom big time, that it has turned into a nursery of sorts.

5. Fix dinner slowly and concentrate on what I'm doing. It feels good to make a homemade, healthy dish. Plus, all the chopping I have to do helps relieve tension.
Yeah, yeah...I always tell that to myself, sometimes it help but most of the time it didn't. Besides, that's what I do every night, so that's nothing new.

6. Write a blog. It helps me unwind and vent my frustrations without looking immature in front of other people. When I read what I've written, it helps me determine if I'm truly upset or if I'm just being silly.

Most times I'm glad I've kept my stresses to myself. Now you know why you are reading this.

The lesser of two evil.

The smoke has cleared, the dust has settled, and now we see the last man standing.
Barack Obama is now officially the president of the United State.
Are Americans pleased and happy with the result? Here is one reaction I got from my friend Juni...

"the election? it's another one of those hold your nose and vote elections. we've just been handed the lesser of two evils every election cycle. i wonder, will we get what we want? or get what we deserve? either way it's scary with the economy the way it is. i seriously thought about voting for spongebob squarepants like my grandson kaleb asked me to. lol"

Does this mean that Americans have rejected the party of Bush (the bigger evil) and embraced a candidate who, in many ways, is his exact opposite? That the election was a negative referendum on Bush rather than a positive mandate for Obama?

So maybe, Bush and the economy were the fundamental dynamics of this election, huh? Of course, we are aware that the Bush administration has given the US two recessions during his term, and two unfinished wars. America is in a recession the likes of which we haven't seen since the early 1980s. The country is already 10 months into this recession and the country don't see any end in sight.

On the other hand, Obama ( the lesser evil) is not only youthful and black, articulate and cosmopolitan, he's also well to the left of Bush on many key issues. The man has been in politics for only four years and has never held any executive office. Obama's qualification was that he offered hope for a better America, or, as he put it, "change you can believe in".

Yet embracing a man so youthful and inexperienced, is a leap of faith.
America has hoped, voted, and taken the leap...

Another sleep-deprived day.

Time flies so fast. I have not yet relish the short semestral break of the boys, and now I have to get up at 4 in the morning again to prepare breakfast for them. Classes started yesterday and like most single moms, I have to grope about in the kitchen with my still closed eyelid while going through the morning chores.

Today I cooked chicken-pork adobo for breakfast and for Cedric's lunch provision. I also fried three cod fish for my cat. The meat were very cold and very much melded together when I took then off the freezer. I didn't bother thawing them, I just put them all in the casserole thinking the ice will just melt away anyway when it is subjected to heat. Besides I don't have the luxury of time. Weekdays are always a busy day, they may be productive but in no way relaxing.

So while the activity in the stove is on going. I was also doing the laundry. And while I am sorting out clothes to put in the spinner, I kind of pause and think - why do we need to wash clothes? Why can't we just wear a soiled, smelly, dirty clothes for days on end, and just throw them away when it become so sticky we can hardly take them off our skin?

Just imagine how it would be walking in a crowded place and see the people breaking away giving you that needed space to walk on. Like the proverbial sea parting when Moses lead his men toward the promise land. Also if you have so many work in the office and doesn't want to be disturbed, what a better way to drive away people than a pungent smell as soon as they step into your cubicle. Its like a repellant that will drive them as far away from you as possible...duh!

See how the lack of sleep clearly affects my thinking, or cognitive processes? My sleep-deprived brain is truly running on four rather than eight cylinders. And this is happening to me everyday, 6 days a week.

Life's ripple.

When we look back to those days past, is it with fondness or regret? Did we make an effort to create special moments when our life give us an opportunity to do so? Will people remember us long after we are gone?

Too often we see our daily life as just that, a routine, that repeats itself day in and day out. Many times, we don't remember the things we did the next day, let alone a week later. We lose ourselves in the blur of the world around us and other times we are the blur in our own lives.

If we asked those people we have met during our lifetime what it is they remember about us, would they say something else, rather than "nothing!"?

The true measure of our contribution is seen, although seldom recognized, in the way those we love feel about us. Many of our contributions can never be known by us because they are part of the ripples as the direct effect we may have on the lives of others. We help someone and because of that, he or she is able to help someone else and so on. We may never know about that third person,or fourth person, but we had an effect on him, just the same.

There is always something of ourselves that we can share that will make a moment a special one. We can create our own special memories of our lives. And we should. Regardless of our age, I believe we owe it to ourselves to go out and not just do something ordinary, but do something memorable and maybe remarkable. How do we do it is up to us.

I was a recipient of someone's kindness the past days. It was overwhelming to be on the receiving end from someone who barely knew me, let alone a stranger from across the globe. This person is the type who would reach out to help people in need and never bothered if it gets recognized. He said he lived alone and unnoticed in their community.

No, my friend. You aren't invisible. You have touched our lives and had changed our future and we will always remember you. Your little gesture of kindness had made an impact into our lives and thus making the simple act a moment worth remembering...